UP! the vortex

by October 20, 2022 0 comments

the winter storm slammed into town
like a rage-alcoholic stepfather
meteorologists called him a polar vortex.
his drinking buddies
frostbite and hypothermia
trailed in his wake and called him boss

they pelted the windows with sleet
they iced the roads and froze the pipes
they howled and blustered
until the poor feared for their lives
and the powerful fled to Cancun

I hid in my room under the blankets
like I did when I was a kid and my step-drunk
rampaged through the house unchecked

to ease my angst and pass the time
I streamed the film UP!
a raunchy 1976 Russ Meyer farce
it features a masochistic Hitler look alike
murdered by a piranha in his bathtub
and a screwball plot that nobody understands
Russ thoughtfully provides
a nude former Miss Universe
as Greek Chorus to fill in the gaps

when the credits rolled, I moved on to
MOTORPSYCHO
BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS
and
SUPERVIXENS

I streamed Meyers’ entire
underrated body of work
while I waited
for that arctic storm-of-a-bitch
and his cronies
to pile into somebody’s Cadillac
and bluster back to the north
to their favorite strip joint called Ice Angels.

editors note:

Recommended viewing for when a polar bear rages by. – mh clay

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