for debbie

people who barely knew you
tell me you were awesome
they don’t mention
how you hit a girl
in the face
for half a can
of mountain dew
in a toledo mental ward
they say nothing about you
threatening to accuse a guy
in dayton
of rape
unless he handed over
the money
from your disability check
or how you got
thrown up against a car cop
for refusing
to pay a cover
for a poetry reading
spending the night
in the drunk tank
with a girl
coming down off heroin
they just send kind thoughts
to a family
whose memory
you spent years
trying to escape
like a thief in the night
with a razor blade
between your teeth
i guess they just don’t know
that every breath you took
you had to steal.