The Search for Enlightenment

by on April 27, 2024 :: 0 comments

photo "Wine Down" by Tyler Malone

One day, I felt an existential emptiness deep within myself. In my soul. I decided to fill it with some delicious cookies, speckled with real strawberry bits and drenched in chocolate, just sitting in our cupboard waiting for me like that had been created to give my life purpose. These cookies tantalized and danced on my tongue as I munched them down a bit too fast to fully enjoy. Somehow, though, after I had plucked and eaten the last crumb that had fallen on the counter, the agonizing emptiness of my soul remained unfilled.

Perhaps the Ben and Jerry’s double fudge brownie ice cream in the fridge would give my life purpose. I gobbled down the whole pint and it was, indeed, smooth and rich and creamy. Tragically, the hunger in my soul remained as painful as before, while a gloopy nausea spread through my swollen stomach. All that was left was some stale tea biscuits that had somehow lingered, forgotten, on the highest shelf. It was a bit painful, but I stuffed these into my insatiable maw, chewing quickly and somehow gulping them down, and perhaps even deriving a morsel of enjoyment from the whole process. My soul, however, derived no joy, and the existential emptiness continued to gnaw at my very being.

There was only one thing left to try—a trip to the nearby IHOP. Perhaps a mammoth stack of pancakes laced with chocolate chips, drowning in syrup, smothered with mounds of whipped cream and sprinkles, would succeed where the pantry and refrigerator failed?

But this trip would require something that the lead weights encumbering my soul forbade—the effort of leaving my house. So I resorted to plan B—sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, not to fill the emptiness in my soul but to forget. It was strange, I thought, as I tucked my weary self under the blankets and laid my head on the puffy pillow. If the soul is empty, shouldn’t that make the body lighter? Why did I feel so heavy? The heaviness dragged me into the fog of sleep, a blind sleep that felt like eternity.

editors note:

Seeing yourself in it isn’t a pleasant experience, but we try to get a taste of life while something eats away at us. ~ Tyler Malone

Leave a Reply