A Cellar Tale

by on January 16, 2024 :: 1 comment

photo "Working Progress" by Tyler Malone

Bobby was a born storyteller and loved an audience. Always had. The family reunion dinner would be the perfect place to perform. He stood up after grace and clinked his spoon against his raised water glass. The group quieted in anticipation.

“Before we start, I have a story to tell…”

“Picture a woman, in her seventies… Alone in the house, late at night,” he said in his best Rod Sterling imitation. “And she hears a noise in the cellar…” Bobby let the dramatic pause linger.

“There it is again. The same noise from the cellar. Her adult son will be home in an hour. But no, she can’t wait. Again, the noise.”

The guests around the dinner table leaned forward.

“Armed only with a flashlight, she sneaks down the creaky steps.”

“Bobby! Stop it,” his mother pleads.

“No Mom, this story needs to be told.”

“Let him finish,” was the unified cry from the table.

Encouraged by the dinner guests, Bobby continued, “She’s in the basement and… BAM!”

Everyone at the table jumped along with a plate or two.

“Now picture a woman, immobilized on the floor and the cellar filling up with water. Drip, drip, drip.”

“The water deepens.” Bobby looked around at the rapt guests.

“The wayward son Bobby comes home to an empty house, or so he thinks.”

Bobby paused for more dramatic effect.

“He searched the house and heard a noise from the cellar. At grave risk and armed only with his quick wits, he takes cautious steps down the stairs. There’s the noise again. This time louder. Then a long groan followed by a blue streak of cursing.”

Mom rolls her eyes. “Must you continue, Bobby?”

“But of course, Mom. So where was I? Ah yes, in the basement and I spot a body on the floor…”

“Mom, what are you doing lying in a puddle on the floor?”

Head bleeding, pupils dilated, I didn’t wait for an answer and tended to her wounds.

“To the ER we go, no argument.”

“So off we went; long story short, a couple staples in the head, a strong sassing by the ER staff, and we returned.”

Mom stood up. “Yes, I shouldn’t have gone down and have promised not to do it again. Ok, fun’s over. Now there’s a dripping pipe valve with a little scalp on it that you need to look at after dinner, Bobby. Now, let’s eat.”

editors note:

Always work to do, but there are always stories to tell. ~ Tyler Malone

Comments 1

  1. Kathy Whipple

    Fantastic. This story is loads of fun. As an older woman I sympathize with being the subject of jokes and stories by the younger generation. But I adore the storytellers and know it’s all in good fun. I’m generally laughing the hardest.
    Nicely done N.T. You know how to tell a succinct tale with no extra words.

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