Pitch for a Picture Book

by on May 2, 2014 :: 0 comments

image courtesy of Tyler Malone

“Hello, Trisha Donnelly, Mindful Child Publications, correct? Sorry I read your name tag there, well, in advance, thanks for a moment of your time, Trish. Can I call you Trish? Oh, sorry, no that’s better isn’t it, Mrs. Donnelly? Oh, of course! More business-like. Thank you. You see I have this fantastic idea for a children’s picture book that I honestly believe is an exciting property, one which I’m taking to you, Mrs. Donnelly, and to Mindful Child first, due to your fantastic reputation. Right! Here we go. The cover is of an adorable fairy wearing glasses who’s fluttering on her dragonfly wings in front of a giant carnation in full-bloom. First page: A sad girl in a nice room, a mountain of toys in the background—she’s doing homework in a notebook and frowning. Then she decides to throw a tea party for her expensive toy store dollies, to cheer herself up. She misses her daddy, see. It’s implied that there’s been a messy divorce, a death, always away for work, umm, those serious issues in the background, implied, done very lightly-lightly, you know, so a wide variety of—I’m losing you? Ha, ha! You are a sharp one, aren’t you? Right, the climax. After having been talking and playing with the fairy, Fayree, who flies out of the carnation set-up in a vase for the tea party—they’ve have a wonderful time, but then the girl’s cat, a big fluffy ball of grey fur with green eyes called Tiffin, dashes in and bats the fairy from the air. Before the girl can stop the cat, it tears Fayree apart with its claws, gobbles her up, and then runs off, pell-mell. Of Fayree there’s only one broken wing and exactly three drops of blue blood on the table, uh, which the girl has to clean up with tissues. She puts the carnation in the bin, as well. Then, she has a tea party alone with her dolls—all gifts from the absent father. She pretends they are talking to her and then decides, “I like dollies best. Fake friends are safe friends: They’re the friends who stay to the end of my tea parties. They’re much better friends for a girl than fickle felines or fragile fairies!” Wait, wait, I forgot to tell you the best part—ties it all up in a bow. The title is “Excarnation.” Excarnation, Mrs. Donelly!”

editors note:

Defleshing, it happens to us all, especially when we answer that question: “So, what are you writing now?” That’s an answer that should come in the form of a printed page, not words out of an imperfect mouth. – Tyler Malone

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