A Most Bizarre Nightmare

by on February 1, 2024 :: 0 comments

I had a nightmare last night,
Van Gogh was there, he was
arguing with his old friend
Paul Gauguin, yet again.

Van Gogh turned his blade to
his ear, but then saw me, a
slack jawed observer, fearful
unto the argument that was
unraveling before my eyes.

Before I could run, Gauguin
grabbed me, pinning my arms
behind my back, a sharp pain
on the right side of my
head ensuing.

I attempted to screech out
into the unfortunate night,
but Van Gogh stuck a rag
with chloroform to my face.

Last things I remember, were
muffled voices and footsteps
trailing off; then darkness.

I awoke to the sensation of
something wet on the right side
of my head, blood and some
stupid dog named Toto licking
me; Dorothy, from Kansas, was
there too, and screamed for help.

I was told later from my recovery
bed, that Gauguin had probably
returned to Paris, and was now on
the 10-most-wanted list.

The constable assured me that
Paul Gauguin would surely be
captured and stand trial, and that
he would spend many years painting
behind bars.

The constable went on to say-

But even if put on trial for your attempted
murder, Van Gogh would be considered
not mentally capable of standing; anyways
he was definitely in a mental hospital
in Arles doing a life sentence; painting
his masterpiece’s.

After what seemed like an eternity, I
finally awoke from this most bizarre
dream, to find that both my ears were
still intact, but the right one was
mysteriously bleeding at the lobe.

– Wayne Russell

editors note:

Oof! Let’s not dream about Hemingway or Brautigan. That could end with a bang. – mh clay

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