Empty Seat (a state of mind)

by on August 28, 2023 :: 0 comments

My resolve broke down on the road to recovery
overheated and defeated,
murmuring on the cusp of deliverance
just beyond reach of resolution.

To this point I’d passed hidden signs,
forks in the road,
easy street to the left
providence to the right
always choosing the former.

The easy trail to find some peace
a fairground ride, high above confusion
swirling in a forever spin
laughing at those below
who’d shake fists and spit bile.

Opposite, an empty seat
a swinging endorsement
of lonesome smugness
teasing death,
knuckles white on the bar.

Another fork, another choice
to the left a festival
to the right responsibility
so, I’d head to see an addict
a legend drowning in the fear of performance
while among a frenzied crowd
a brotherhood
a sisterhood,
a family;
I’d envied their anticipation
as I stood there alone
in a field of mud.

Wearily I turned left again
to the barroom hustle
in pursuit of belonging
confidence sought in vessels of deceit
juggling words
something of interest
beyond a cliche
though would lose my thread
in the bottom of a glass.

Finally, to avoid completing the circle
I turned to the right
a rutted road that shook me into multiple parts
and left me deshelled
wiping mist from my rear-view
looking clearly at the damage left behind
with no passengers
Just me and the open road.

editors note:

It’s a rough road to recovery. Sometimes a left isn’t right. – mh clay

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