crazy bitch

by on November 15, 2021 :: 0 comments

I placed the 2 bottles
of Sutter Home
on the counter
with the tall 3 pack
asked for my smokes
this old blonde bitch
walked up behind me in line

“ewwww, gross!
I hate that shit
last time I drank that
ghetto wine
I was sick for days!”

I couldn’t really hear her
because I had earbuds in
but I soon learned
she was talking to me

she was fighting her mid-50s
with reckless abandon
biting and clawing her way
back to her youth
long gone

her head seemed to bounce on a swivel
constant motion
like an inflatable air tube man
large black sunglasses
to hide this morning’s hangover
a tight camouflage mini dress
that did not work
because I could still see her

the man behind the counter
asked if I wanted a bag
I did and thanked him for asking

the old bitch shouted out
while constantly in motion
“yeah giv’em a black bag
so he can hide his ghetto wine
from the neighbors on his walk
of shame!”

the man said there was nothing wrong
with the wine
I nodded

in fact, Sutter is pretty shit
but it has a high alcohol content
which makes up for it

I looked at her and she
stuck her tongue out
running the fat
dry cracked muscle
along her lips with
white globs in the corners
of her mouth

I headed for the door
she screamed:

“hey! hey boo! hey boo!
come back here! boo!
I’m talking to you!
turn around!”

I did
cocking my knee
to give her a thrust kick
right in the fupa
and she handed me my debit card

“you left this in the thingy!”

I thanked her and
got the fuck out of there

– Matt Wall

editors note:

It’s crazy when sometimes, you’re the bitch. – mh clay

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