Florida Man opened the door
when the fire trucks arrived
closed the door again.

Florida Man opened the door
when the cops arrived
walked deeper inside
his smoke-filled house.

Florida Man
brave
naked
impervious
to the toxic fumes,
firefighters
in oxygen masks
extinguish
the furious blaze.

Florida Man
uninjured, unaware
fueled
by two liters of vodka,
fired up
got the munchies
got the idea
to bake cookies
on his George Foreman grill.

When orange flames licked
his modest home
blackening walls
Florida Man
superhero
of bad decisions
damped the fire
with dry towels
while his cookies
got baked
to a hard char.