You want to be better.

That should be obvious from the title.

But you don’t know how.

If you knew, you would be.

You want to be better.

But for some damn reason, you aren’t.

It could be your family problems.

The fact that your brother no longer exists for you.

That might be it.

The fact that your parents no longer love each other. And you being a product of their love brings your worth in their eyes into question.

That might be it.

Your faith is shaken. It is called into question by total strangers and those closest to you. You thought a crisis of faith would be loud and obvious. But you never expected it to be quiet and subtle.

That might be it.

You want to love someone but you find that no one wants your love. Sex isn’t exactly what you want. You want a connection. But no one seems to have a spot in their life for you.

That might be it.

Your entire upbringing is being slammed by every social outlet. If you speak up you’re cast among the damned. You are not welcome because you have a different opinion. You’re backward and obsolete. You don’t have anything to contribute to the world at large.

That might be it.

Maybe the life you’ve experienced has shown you that nothing matters so why even try.

That might be it.

I’m trying to be better.

I really am…

– Thomas Cantu