For the sake of argument, let’s have one. It’s been a while. At least a couple of hours since the last atomic blow up. You think the world would be better with sprinkles. I mostly disagree. Also, if I won the lottery, I’d invest in umbrella stocks and unicorn farms. I’m a planner like that. You’d spend it all on antique kitchen utensils and misshapen power tools, on oil paintings of Karl Marx and faux leather lampshades embroidered with the face of Mayakovsky. You’d start calling our house an estate and re-name it In Memory of My Feelings. That’s just like you. Plus, and I’m sure of this, your pockets would always bulge with quarters and breath mints. And your belt would be decorated with pet rocks in case you decided to take a swim.