“Did you just ask me to take you back
with a declaration of undying love,
promising to never drink again,
and to change your insane ways?
Culminating with the absolute classic
(I cannot wait to tell my friends & family),
and I quote, ‘Even If You Say No,
I will Always Carry Around A Flame
For You Somewhere Deep In Cider Me’
Seriously? You’re… ludicrous,
get away from my front door step right now,
before I throw down something hard
& heavy upon that idiotic head of yours…
you’re winding me up, completely!
You’re lucky my brothers ain’t home…
or, after rolling ‘round in absolute hysterics,
you’d get the hiding of your life… Twat!”