How interesting it must be
To have a penis,
To be accompanied always
By a creature that is part of you,
Yet completely independent,
With its own opinions
And its own proclivities
Not necessarily the same
As your own.
How interesting it must be
When the head says no
And the penis says yes, or
The head in its wisdom
Wants and desires,
And the penis sneers and shrinks away.
Or should one say
Not so interesting as all that,
Frustrating, in fact
When the penis decides on its own.
Still, you can have fun,
Can dress it up in little hats,
Can coyly hide it away,
Or have it peep forth with a grin and say,
Look at the gorgeous shape I’m in!
Don’t look at that big Bobo beyond.
Look at me! Am I not beautiful?
My telescoping majesty is a thing to admire,
And my spitting opinions are so raw, so true!
Where else can you
Come across honesty like this?
Really, it is a crime
And very weird
To have to hide away
Deep in the depths of pocketed pants,
Airless and damp,
Breeding grounds for bacteria,
Prey to the dreaded Crotch Rot.
Why can’t all penii
Hang out in the breeze
Flying and flapping
Or tight, drawn-up,
Ergometrical?
At the very least, we would know
Whose was bigger.
Imagine the problems that would prevent.
But no. The generative organs
Are not to be revealed.
And so it goes.
And so do we all go on
Hiding away the best parts of ourselves, the
Most intriguing, most honest,
Most real,
As unfit for public display
In the open air and the light of day.