Brace yourself Bridget
cause da situation going really happen.

Katsutoshi Takafuji
is knocking on your door

and he’s holding wun wedding ring.

He came all da way from Tokyo
aftah being infatuated on da internet.

So now you feel guilty
about being wun casual cyber hussy

cause he got serious kine intentions
foa make you da woman of his dreams.

Somebody is getting cold feet
and suddenly like be cold turkey.

Too bad

cause he looks so handsome
in his smart business suit

even dough he’s only
5 foot 4.

Maybe if you
wished really hard

and clicked your heels

you could be sent to Kansas
to escape your predicament.

Not too long ago

international dating
wuz so exciting

wen da flirting courtship
wuz wun distant curiosity.

Now flesh and bones
is standing on your porch

and he wants moa
den just being wun pen pal.

Nobody is accusing you

of being extremely frivolous
or untinking

but you going find out real soon

if wun Japanee guy from Japan
gets just as mad as da local ones

wen he realizes

dat he wuz chasing wun wild goose
instead of wun potential romance.