Da buggah sure can run wit dat pigskin
even dough it’s really made of cow.

Boomah Williams
is wun pretty good running back.

Da only ting is

da knots in his head
stay just as thick as his powerful legs—

Dumber den wun box of coconuts
is putting it mildly.

But foa now
he’s da bull of da campus

and he gets his pick

of all of da girls dat stay ogling
around him.

Scholastics is wun lazy mystery
to Boomah.

He’s relying on his good looks

and breakaway speed
in da open field.

Some college recruiters
stay looking at him.

Dey wondering
about his grades dough.

Boomah is tinking

dat he going skate through
to da next level

just like he did in high school.

He’s already dreaming
of da new uniform.

Even dough some universities

try to accommodate guys
wit easy passable courses

it just might be too much
foa somebody dat no like give any real effort.

I can imagine him
struggling wit such subjects

as Finger Painting 101
and Farm Animal Identification.

Boomah sure can run fast

but not fast enough
to make da intellectual cut.

Da sad ting heah

is dat he not even trying
foa expand his brain

but da buggah going find out
da hard way.

Looks like
you no can change da stripes

on wun manini.

*manini – A kind of reef fish with vertical stripes; a slang term for something small or insignificant.