There were a few of us
Underage and drinking beers
Natty
You know what I’m talking about
Just boys being boys
And about nine beers deep we started getting bored
There was this gopher hole
And boys being boys we started a fire
in the hole
Nothing
Next we threw in firecrackers
Still nothing
I’m not sure what we expected
I guess we were just hoping to flush the rodent out
This stupid pastime continued
Until my uncle
Drunk as shit stumbled over with the water hose
He pushed the hose into the hole and turned on the water
It all happened so fast
The critter came dashing out
And in that instance my uncle
Armed with a baseball bat
Beat the gopher to death
He threw down the bat and walked away
We were confused
I felt dirty
How did pointless fun
Easily turn into a murder of sorts
We buried the gopher
And never talked about it again
Until now
Until Trump decided to run for president
One of the boys that were there called me
I told him I wasn’t much into politics
He said
“Remember the gopher?”