(on reading Gregory Corso’s poem – Hello)
And
I return to Lily Pond again
to
meet myself
inside
the oval mirror of my mind
&
say hello
once more
in
a sweet rendezvous
in
the sacred garden
of
&
say hello
&
say hello
by
the soothing waters
&
say hello
to
the familiar stranger
swirling
in
phantasmagoria
&
rushing slowly
in
the mirror of glittering reflections
at
the center of my chimerical omphalos
&
here
inside
the oval mirror
I
return to Lily Pond
&
sit with the Beat Poets
Corso, Kerouac, & Ginsberg,
phantom companions
of
my inner landscape,
a necessary illusion
within
the flowing opalescence
of
my brainwaves
&
suddenly,
the rebel-ghost Corso
rises
&
leaps toward Lily Pond
&
shrieks hello
&
his raw visionary voice
drills
a hole
in
my dream-mind
&
opens
it
to
metaphysical malaise
&
I say hello
inside
the echo chamber of my dreamscape
I
say hello hello hello
&
meet myself again
&
whisper in sweet susurrations –
Who am I?
&
shriek soundlessly –
Who am I?
inside
a dust devil
&
an unholy silence screams –
Who am I?
within
my swirling nowhere –
my everlasting existential question –
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
unending shadow of a shadow
of
my phantom
soul
that
follows me to Lily Pond
where
the rebel-ghost Corso
peers
at his fathomless fragile self,
a wounded deer,
&
reveals
his trauma his truth a bestial shattering
here
at Lily Pond
on
the Brooklyn College campus
circa
summer 1965
&
I gaze into the mirror of my mind
&
touch the broken glass of
the merciless shattering
of
the self
&
hear shards of my apocalyptic past
exploding
into my mutilated eyes
&
I mourn all I have lost all that is gone
all who have died
I mourn all the death I carry inside
&
I say hello hello hello
at
a Brooklyn rendezvous with myself
at
Lily Pond
while sitting with the Beat Poets
&
I say hello