“Have you a partner?” I asked,
knowing him well and that he did not.
“Yes I have” he said quickly.
“Oh okay, is this a recent thing?
What’s her name?” I said.
“It’s a he” he said “and it’s long term,
I mean it for eternity”
“Oh, a he!” I said surprised.
“Yeah” he said “Anything wrong with that?”
“No nothing wrong with that” I said,
“What’s his name?”
“His name?” he asked.
“Yeah, his name” I said.
“Jesus Christ” he said softly,
“It’s Jesus Christ”
“Jesus Christ!” I said
smiling and grinning.
“Yeah” he said seriously
looking at me hard.
“They’re asking for a date of birth” I said
“Well, everybody knows that!
Christmas Day; twenty fifth of December zero zero
zero zero!” he answered with confidence.
“Okay” I said “Now they’re asking for proof of birth;
a birth certificate”
“Fuck me!” he cried “The Bible,
that’s His birth certificate,
He’s got millions of birth certificates
all over the world!”
“Alright” I said
“They’re being awkward now,
they’re asking for
a national insurance number”
“Jesus don’t need no
national insurance number;
but okay; here’s
His national insurance number;
JC 1” he laughed softly.
“Okay” I said “Now if the authorities take this
literally you will loose your single person
reduction for your taxes”
“Okay” he said “That’s fine;
I’ll gladly pay for Jesus,
I mean, after all man,
He paid the ultimate price
for us all didn’t he?”
he looked at me
for reassurance.
“Maybe” I said looking away,
out of the window
and into the distance.
“I’ll pay for Jesus” he said. “I’ll pay”
Amen.