for a very long time
i wanted to have a dictionary of synonymous words
simple reason – i want to know more
and it offers you an opportunity to speak just like you’re castin’ a spell

and so
few days ago
i visit a bookshop
and while wandering there
i see the book i wanted for so long:
Caravanskiy’s Practical Dictionary of Synonyms,
Fourth Edition.

And so i take this book
and go to the salesgirl

and she looks just like i feel:
– pencil skirt
– BJ-specs
– no bra
(but i saw the book called “Bra” near her)
And she smiles to me A LOT
in different manners:
– mock smile, shy smile, grateful smile, playful smile
and this famous enigmatic smirk
– she smiles so much – you can draw a study of smiling from her

– she has this strange presence
you know – something in her style that shows me
– there must be a Pulp song in the air

so i give her the book –
and she says:
“one moment, i’ll go to the backroom and look for another copy…”
She goes there
and resumes the conversation:

“…You know,
years ago –
when i was in high school –
i hated dictionaries
and always tried to tear them to pieces
and then kindly reassemble them into something more pleasant to me
you know – chaos reigns”

and i say “yeah, i know that”

and she laughs and returns from the backroom with another copy
and continues talking while holding the book before me:

“you know –
i still think
they make you go in circles
instead of moving forward –
i know it’s not my business
but i can have a certain kind of influence on your vocabulary experience…”

And so she takes a bottle with a blow-gun
and perfumes the book with some dizzy flavor

And then she gives it to me and says “Have fun”
indeed i have – A LOT –
I can’t flip a page without smelling it
and gettin’ really dizzy.

BUT i think it’s all right.

Now reading this dictionary is like diving
You need to hold your breath
You have a very limited amount of time
And you need to stay very focused –
You need to get to the point – period.

And somehow she knew i needed it.
I guess she got it just by looking in my eyes.

Nevertheless,
Another tremendous achievement of the kindness of strangers.
A weird manifestation of concern and care.