by January 26, 2015 0 comments

I watched over her while she kicked dope
sweating and
xxxtwitching and
xxxxxxscreaming obscenities
xxxxxxxxx“Fuck you and all your holier than though
xxxxxxxxxxxxbullshit, “she said
She promised me
it was going to be the last time
that she would screw up this bad
and who was I to judge?
I tried to drag her from the jaws of death
but she just kept
slipping back

I sat by her at the doctor’s
all the blood and
xxxthe pus and
xxxxxxthe nose burning stench
xxxxxxxxxas he lanced one abscess after
I had never
seen someone I cared about
in this much pain before
but what choice did I have?
I was trying to pull her from the gutter
but she just kept
slipping back

You know, I told myself
I loved her but I didn’t know
what that word even meant
She was just my new addiction
and the purpose and power I felt
was what was really in my grip
when I thought I was holding
her hand

I listened when she relapsed
as she lied
xxxand she lied
xxxxxxthrough her teeth
xxxxxxxxxthat she was sober, that she
xxxxxxxxxxxxwas clean
I didn’t want
to push her out
of my life forever
but that’s exactly what I did
Instead of me, lifting her up
she was only
dragging me down
so I let go of her hands
and watched her disappear
as she just kept
slipping back

editors note:

We try to hold on as along as we can, but sometimes we have to let go of that hand. Such a sad thing… (See another sad but searing strophe on David’s page with a link to access his new book, writing as Max Mundan, “Junkies Die Alone” – check’em out!) – mh

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