It started late this year, end of August,
Hardly time to pay off the last one!
This brings out my sunny side,
Pulling Santa’s beard and growling
At carol singers disturbing me as I try to make
My Soup of the Day, the cauldron nicely boiling
A rat, spider and a scorpion’s tail –
Those kids still murdering Holy Night –
I chase them off throwing a black cat
At their tuneless tonsils, the little varlets!
Time for my lunch of stewed skunk.

I have made misery into an Artform:
Scrooge is my hero, although even he
Let me down in the end, such a shame.
But it won’t happen to me, snarling,
Hating singing, dancing, laughter;
Moaning at the bartender. Breaking
Ice into my whiskey he cracks a joke,
Splitting my lips into a painful grin.
With the day completely ruined
The carol singers return, grudgingly
I put a bent penny into their tin.