She loves you with blood running down your nose
From the bottle of diamonds you swallowed
She loves the rush of the drive to the hospital,
The wedding screen, the jewelry of needles
She is there to feed you porridge at midnight
To cry with you on bathroom floors, to wipe
The stains on your bed sheets – your wrists.
She is there when you call her with tales
Of anaesthetic-induced euphoria
She is there when you ask for the balcony view
Because you like the choice it comes with.
She is nearly there when you call her, saying
They’re letting you go – she is half there
At your meetings, always a pocketed
Apology – a bouquet of flowers with wheel marks.
She smokes like a chimney when you tell her
The seasons make you feel beautiful,
You love her even though she is boat in rocky seas
A train that never pulls in.
You are there when she calls you at half past
Something. She asks you not to call again
As she won’t be around, makes you promise
To send a message when you reach the institution.