because the cool white void
of oblivion
rests better behind my eyes
the mechanical flow of
morning to night
gets covered in English ivy
corners softened
spine released
green smells green
air has promise
my circumstance of daggers and wild eyes
misguided kismet
and spoiled dinner
can be saved
under the blanket of chemicals
it brings
the banal becomes beautiful
the erratic, iridescent
my desires are few
complacent calm in the ocean
of malice
kind eyes
laughter and open smiles
i can categorize your faces
now
French film frowns
Bogart lips and
cool cigarette exhale
sad baby teardrops on
the patio
tender kiss it away
and forget
i’m considering a drink
the bitter twist
it masks
my skin
blistered and pickled
to carve the edges of my skull
clean of all culpability
to shrug and wink seductively
dabble my fingertips in its wet
sexy mouth
and still wake the nagging complexities
that never get resolved
under its heavy slosh
and languid rolls
my vessel is always struggling
over the angry waves
of hops, grapes and fermented things
I’m considering an escape
a knapsack with music, notebooks and pills
walking shoes and no destination
asphalt or dirt roads
to caress with rambling
poems and songs
a blank memory to keep me walking
away from broken things
i can’t replace
a hearth with no heat
a library with no lights
a bed with no love
a heart with no beat
revolving sheets that leave me cool
in the night
fevered in worry
i’m considering Klonopin
because the reasons
are grinning at me
from the tree branches
like Cheshire cats
perhaps
its the only way
i know how to
shame them
name them as my own
personify and destroy
with chemical formula symbols
my daggers
dulling the loneliness
of the compartments of my mind
in time it will all boil over the sunset
in pill capsule yellows
and i will dance freely again
but until then
i’m considering Klonopin