Antiques Roadshow

by April 5, 2013 0 comments

I.

When I watch the antiques roadshow
I know they are making shit up
Probably exaggerating
Or lying or something
It’s TV
It’s not exactly real
It’s like a situation where you know people are listening
In
So you act a little differently

Collectors would value this
At several tons of dollars
Cash paper
The fantastical lover
Dancing like a picture frame
Growing a rattail in the shadows
Hiding it with bobbie pins

My mother helped me hide the rattail
The old bitter ladies at school
Held it with clenched fist rockets
Satellite hands gripping tightly

They understood enforcement
I understand nothing

Snuff is a problem
Rattails are a problem

We know how to solve problems
We have several people who specialize in that

II.

When I watch the antiques roadshow
I don’t really recognize the people
That PBS hired

I’m trying to picture the real event
Playing out scenarios

Perhaps there are like 27 people
Working for PBS

III.

I gots
dirty hairy
I gots
Nothing to give

I wonder
When you sucka go
I wonder
When you blue haired sucka
Sweep kick
Spit

I gots
Captain America
I gots
A steady hand

Here’s a link to wikipedia
To 4chan
Can you barter on PBS?

When I watch antiques roadshow
I wonder what they tell the people in the background
No one ever looks at the camera
Do they ever reshoot stuff – they have to
I would look at the camera if I was in the background

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