i have first world problems
a phone that won’t work and no internet service

but she sets me straight

she sits across from me
and starts to cry before she can even speak

can you dial a number for me? she finally asks

although the boss hates when i let the public use the phone

i dial it for her anyway
but the line is dead

you can’t get through, she says

no, i say, thinking about my phone and my internet

she says, i need to speak to my therapist
my building is flooded from that hurricane

there are dozens of us seniors stuck there
and the management won’t do anything

they say they’re pumping out the water
but it’s starting to stink

they say they’re calling FEMA but no one has arrived

it’s dark and cold and i’m scared, she says
i have no one else to call

i dial the number for her again
wonder if i’ll have internet access at home
if i can call for a pizza tonight instead of cooking

the woman is saddened when i can’t get through again

tells me that she has pancreatic cancer
and doesn’t want to have to live through this
so close to the end

i shouldn’t feel this way
but i’m sorry that the woman walked in here

i was doing all right worrying about my first world problems

sorry about my phone and internet
sorry that i’ll have to make dinner tonight

do you want me to call FEMA? i ask

could you?

i try FEMA but the phone lines are so fucked
that i can’t get through their maze with my sanity intact

FEMA tells me to check their web site and i laugh

i’ve never seen it this bad, she says, after i hang up
my dog is still there with all of that dark and water

i think about her dog and phones and the internet

why don’t you stay here for a while, i tell her
because i’m out of options

her eyes light up
really? she asks

then she thanks me for listening to her

you’ve done more for me in five minutes
than FEMA and my landlord combined

of course this isn’t true
it couldn’t possibly be true

i’m just a guy that they pay to sit in this seat
for eight hours a day

a guy with no phone and no internet service
awash in my first world problems

as our little world collapses
and keeps spinning new born hells.