28 Messages

by January 31, 2013 0 comments

Why don’t we just quit this?
Before I get hurt
She’s obsessed with falling
Her needs are too intense
No one loves her like daddy
She thinks she’s so special
or willing to fake it until you do
Her mind deserves to fall
into orgasmic chemistry
with yours
From now on, I’m standing up for her
Her eyes get lost behind his walls
Pining again for the emotional
equivalent of juxtaposition
to need and want
She wants the idea
that you need her
you need her to want you
and she wants you to need her
she wants to feel your need
more than rooting around
looking for a hole
to pound out your own satisfaction
denying her the intimacy of climax
crawling around in a dried out shell
molding in salty water
I got so caught up in laying you down
I forgot how to lift myself up
so focused on you giving me the love
that I needed, that I deserved
I forgot that love isn’t always naked
sometimes it’s dressed with a little
humility and grace.
I keep reliving my childhood
trying to find the place where
I missed something
so I can fill it with what it needs
to be fixed
trying to figure out what stage
of my development didn’t get nurtured
or loved enough
And why there is a compulsion to love and be loved
Why it determines my self-worth
Why it controls my actions
Impulsive urgency
almost to the point of
of obsession
I’m looking into her eyes
wondering where she got lost
and why she still pulls at my heart
why it causes me to
need the skin and eyes and hands
of someone else to feel fulfilled

editors note:

That need for love is best fulfilled when we start with love for self, ’cause it’s hard to love the unlovable. You go, Girl! – mh

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