I Am Your Home

by on December 27, 2010 :: 0 comments

Wherever you are,
alone or surrounded
in darkness or in light
mania or melancholia, when
detached and soul searching
your gypsy nature seeking ground.
I want you to know, want you to think,
close your eyes for a moment
breathe deeply and remember that
I am your home.

With open palms and arms spread wide
A full bowl of promise, sitting, waiting,
for you to return to my side,
I am your home.

In my car, you controlling the stereo
eyes closed lips in falsetto
passion bleeding from your soul,
I am your home.

Lawn sprinkler water beaded forehead
your beautiful sublime brown flesh exposed to
the orange blue light of sunrise,
I am your home.

Walking a Dallas sidewalk casually telling you
that you look stunning, in just the right tone of voice
that you finally get it, after thousands of words
and poems and pages, you finally get how I see you,
I am your home.

Drinking cans of beer on the patio until
the break of dawn, me in my boxers.
Breaking through my insecurities.
You, feeling familiar and comfortable,
finally telling me that
I am your home.

Scratching an ant bite on my hand, you
get that emotional look you get,
smiling, realizing that my daughter
has the same hands as me,
I am your home.
Ironically hugging a unicorn in bed
as I stay up all night long talking you
through anxiety because, hey,
I want every waking moment I can get anyway,
I am your home.

Your heart opened at last to
the potential perfection we could be,
treating me differently, treating me kindly
treating me respectfully,
I am your home.

A beer at a bar where you and I do
what we always do, which is get so into
our shared energy and personality that we
become an unforgettably brilliant comedy show,
I am your home.

In Dr.’s or therapist’s offices.
Hand in hand running through wet grass.
Quiet conversations over dinner.
Center stage at the House of Blues.
Sleeping side by side, on grass or
under a swing set or on a blanket.
Sleeping on a hard tile floor just to be near
the couch that you are on,
I am your home.

Painting pink butterflies on my daughters toenails.
A nap with the children and I on an air mattress.
A bookstore with you and my son after breakfast.
Kisses at the break of dawn.
You, motherly, organizing the children’s dinner
coercing my son to accept his Spaghettios.
Late night Youtube music video tears that devastate me,
arms open as you embrace me,
then push me away, then embrace me,
then push me away,
A real world metaphor revealing to me at last
the nature of exactly how you must be loved,
I am your home.

Early morning Merlot crying
please don’t abandon me.
( I never will silly!)
All the thousands of professions of love that
spill from my lips and finger tips regularly.
When I look at you like an animal craving pray and
you telling me that is perfectly ok.
hours staring at your face while sleeping
twisted up in my black tee-shirts,
The way my heart explodes and eyes cry at the
mere sound of your voice and sight of your face.
Singing your old songs together in front of a bar.
Simply walking beside you anywhere we go.
wherever we are,
I am your home.

The way my children react when they see you,
the joy and healing you presence brings them.
Long conversations over coffee, over dinner,
over beer, over blankets, over entire nights.
Opening up every possible fear and insecurity
to one another, breaking through barriers,
healing old wounds, knowing our depths like
no one else possibly could.
Don’t tease me! Why would you say that?
You say, as I tell you a part of your dripping flesh
and wet hair are beautiful, and
the look you get when realizing I wasn’t teasing,
I am your home.

Singing Hallelujah arm in arms with a homeless man.
Singing Hallelujah on the mic.
Singing Hallelujah with Fort Worth musicians.
Singing Hallelujah to Youtube Leonard Cohen and various covers
over and over, while you are in bed sleeping it off,
children play running all over the house laughing and waking you up
by throwing a naked baby in the bed.
it’s not a cry that you hear at night
it’s not somebody who has seen the light
it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah!
I am your home.

The old us made brand new.
Back together again no matter what we say or do.
All past hurts forgiven the way regular people
can’t even imagine being able to forgive.
I know he’s crazy, you tell your brother,
but I love him, I need him in my life,
I love him. I need him, we get each other
in ways that no one else ever could.
How could we have gone through all that and
come back to this?
ALmost together,not quite,
but almost, wanting it to be.
Praying for it to be,
we are perfect, we are perfect, and I love you.
The future is unclear but open to possibility
as you fly away from me,
Hopefully, just for a while,
I am your home.

Open your eyes now.
It doesn’t matter where you are
who you are with, where you have been,
where you go or where you will be,
I will accept you
I will embrace you
I will be here for you,
just be here for me and with me as much as you can
make me your lover, your best friend,
your spiritual partner,
your guru, your student, your poet, your man,
The very best way that we can.
We may struggle with details, but that’s ok,
what matters is the love we share along the way.
Let me be your center
your ground
The eye of your storm.
The hurricane to your tornado.
Your solid place to come home to,
The energy source that never ends
The children’s faces and arms and feet and smiles
that love you and need you and want you
to be an important impactful part of their growth
and character as only you can be Alexcie,
for us, as only you can be!!
They are your home.
We are your home.
Together is our home.
I am your home

Open up and let it be, embrace what is here before you
I have always been and always will be
but now after this last few weeks
August 2010
especially even more so than ever before.
I am your home.

The door is open,
leave your heart here with me
as you roam and learn and yearn and create and grow.
This place is here for you as no other could possibly be
open, accepting, familiar, comforting, exciting,
funny, sad, laughter, tears, all of it.
Every bit of it, this is it, reach out and take it
live in it, because it is yours and only yours,
this place, this home, belongs to you,
was created in this universe specifically for you,
It’s me, my heart, my soul, my life,
and I am yours if you want me
I am your home.
I am your home.
I am your home.

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