I am a silver-backed gorilla,
who hasn’t wised up.
The epitome of an ugly duckling,
with clipped wings,
and webless feet.
I got a beard filled with all colors of hair,
most of which are not even mine.
I pick my nose and wipe it on white socks,
eat double the legal amount of hot wings,
and drink more than any
But you will love me.
I climb beanstalks for golden eggs,
and leave confusing footprints.
I want to slap on your backside
as if it were an upright bass.
Your lips need gnawing,
as I wish you could risk watching
us make love in front of your parents.
You’re communion wine,
and I am a sleeve of crackers.
You are my muse,
and favorite centerfold.
The reason I wear pants in public is for you.
I’m an endless book of matches,
without a flint strip
and I need you to light me up.