i’ve been having a reoccurring dream
where i wake up at 6 a.m. on the dot and get ready for work
sometimes it’s a circus and sometimes
i wake up in unfamiliar places
i never dream long enough to actually get to work
i always wake up seconds before, look at my clock,
see its 6 a.m. on the dot and get ready for work
i live a life viewed in hindsight
so if i ever trip over my own 2 feet
i can laugh at myself and say wow…that sucked
past tense, the now is a memory…
i shaved my head again…i like it like that
it matches my personality
i’m RAW…
RAW like the sex with a friend’s cousin
in her basement while her family slept upstairs
she was 16 and i was 17 going on whatever
warm body seemed interested
back then life was simpler
simpler like making commitments
we knew we wouldn’t have to live up to
simpler like lying on a job application about an arrest history
simpler like playing chess with my grandfather when i was 6
cuz he always let me win
simpler like procrastinating on living life cuz man
i got too many things to reminisce about
back then we were too young to get married
so i love u was easier to say
and next year seemed like a lifetime
so opportunities were easier to piss away
but easy doesn’t build…it can’t…
so i washed away the easy
and let my scalp breathe
now i can feel the breeze blow all the way down
thru my skull and into my brain
sucking the cluster fuck of what will be’s
into a whirlwind of sera sera’s
there is a separation in my personality…2 me’s if u will
one ends a sentence with dude and one with sir
but never confuse my aspiration for theirs
their war on terror and my war on not
being just another faceless
starving artist
just happen to have a common goal…
getting me the fuck out of texas
so i scribbled my name on that dotted line
i signed my initials to my family’s sudden pride
and added a rank to my john hancock
i used to dream about touring the globe
performing like a monkey as
passersby threw peanuts my way
in between dreaming about wrestling
kimodo dragons and long jumping
over bob cats
i’d dream in lended rooms placed
in borrowed homes scattered all over
the country
i’d wake up at noon and try to figure out what
fucking state i was in and with who
now i wake up at 6 a.m. on the dot
and get ready for work
sometimes it feels like a circus and
sometimes i wake up in unfamiliar places
but 3 years 6 months and 23 days from now
i’ll have served my time
and maybe…just maybe, i’ll still shave my head