I HAVE ISSUES

What angels good or bad
hover over my shoulder?
Do they want my soul?

I have issues sometimes.
In my bedroom under
my bed are newspapers,

which I steal from news
racks because voices
command me to do it.

I hear angels with wings
and angels with horns,
who guide my actions.

They want me to save
the city from the bad news
printed in newspapers.

I bring a bag of quarters
to every newspaper rack
in town and steal every

issue of the city’s papers.
I am doing God’s will,
protecting the human race

from news about war, death,
and famine. I save them
from the frivolous lives

of celebrities. I take the
papers to my room and
edit out all the bad stuff.

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