ALONE, ON KRISTALLNACHT

by January 23, 2009 0 comments

Alone, I travel in a private dreamscape to Yesterday, and enter
the long, endless night, a barren wasteland and a labyrinth from
which there may be no exit.

I taste its sadness, inhale its miasma, the vast loneliness, my
crippled soul, and exhale the eerie, silent ululations trapped
inside my chaotic brainwaves.

Alone, abandoned, and forgotten by humans, I travel with
phantoms in my head, for the dead speak to me on my dark
journey.

My ghosts mumble, whisper, cry, and howl. Inside my
hidden universe, they shriek fiercely, desperately. But I can’t
see them. They exist inside my cavernous brain.

Alone, and surrounded by ghosts, and lost on this savage night
of despair, I doubt the existence of G-d, for my faith has been
shattered, like broken glass.

I’ve returned to the long, brutal night of Kristallnacht, the
Night of Broken Glass (Crystal Night), November 9/10 1938.
And throughout Germany and parts of Austria, the Jews are
persecuted.

I dream this dark dream of Yesterday when Nazi storm troopers
smashed Jewish shop windows and destroyed Jewish homes,
businesses, and synagogues and beat and murdered Jews.

On this evil night, I dream of burning synagogues and thousands
of Jews arrested and sent to concentration camps. Alone, on
Kristallnacht, I dream this harrowing dream.

Inside my psyche, I hold the two children of my soul.
Doubt is my left-brain child. He questions all. Logic
is his G-d.
Faith, my right-brain child, is his twin. Intuition is
his G-d. And on this long, endless night of torment,
Doubt and Faith battle.

Alone, on Kristallnacht, I cannot fathom the nature of evil
nor find G-d amidst the broken glass and shattered souls.
Still I search for Him. I will never stop searching for my
G-d.

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