I’m trying hard to find myself. I looked high and low…in the dusty crawl spaces, under yesterday’s ragged boxes, at the stained bottom of my old coffee mug and even thru the cracks in the sidewalk. Who knows, maybe I’ll find myself somewhere between these letters and words and p.u,n?c!t;u:a(t)i”o’n-s…stranger things have happened, believe you me.

I could have sworn I saw myself on the shit-eating-grin of Mr. Moon man on my latest canvas. Smiling at nothing and everything at once, tinted in fiery reds and oranges and yellows in a swirling sea of blues and greens…
…but then again, maybe not.

I also think I caught wind of my trail somewheres around the Tropic’s, Val and I chasing down the night without a penny between us and loving – every – minute of it. He told me to just live…”joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely…” He told me so many things…screaming whispers of midnight exploits, crazy cunts he’d fucked in the hall, hearty meals on someone elses dime, days filled talking at the café, drinking bitter Absinthe and wrestling with our muses. He lives and I live with him, myself and Val painting the town any damn color we choose…

…

Perhaps I’ve been right here all along, stalking me in the shadows of the evening shades. Out of the corner of my eye I see me and when I turn to catch me I’m gone…poof…an elusive SOB I be. But either way I know we’ll meet someday when walking down the street and maybe we’ll mutter a quick how-ya-doin’ and maybe we’ll go catch a cup of joe and ponder the life at the bottom of our mugs. Who knows? Stranger things have happened,
believe you me.