Melancholy Symphony07-08-08

by on October 15, 2008 :: 0 comments

My guts; all opened up.
Now, I am here before you
praying, that you alter my views,
or better yet that I can alter yours.
I mean just a little, just enough
to move you,
to catch me here, while I fall.

Hold me forever and ever and ever.
Putting things inside you.
Allowing me the luxury of
adoration.

Scrawled sentences that
will never see the light,
of screen or mic.
Here they are;
noodles and truth,
small round table,
every possible fear and insecurity
and all my endless love,
laid out in surrender.

All the dark non-breaths without you
are killing me.
They are truly doing me in.

Yet,
Silly crashing moments keep me going.
every moment you
laugh and speak in tongues.
Nod and listen in that certain way.
Allow with grace these torso hands
to guide you up a stairway.
Hands upon shoulder, broken heel.
The way we
shuck and jive one another.
You’ve got to know that
you’re the only one for me
and I for you.

I’m dying here. Truly dying.

Still crying
late in the car with my buddy.
Had to play our poem one more time.
Gasping for air through Shiner Bach tears.
All these prayers on paper like this.
I had to avert my eyes.
The palms of your hands upon my shoulder blades.
I still can’t look into your eyes
those times,
when your fingers briefly lock with mine.
I think you get it now,
my madness and sincerity,
that they are intertwined.
Regardless of what others have said of me
in the past,
that you would have ever paid them heed
with innate inabilities to understand me
the way that only you do
and only I do you.

The world is full of critiques.
Critiques of you, critiques of me
critiques of you and I together.
Coming from all directions all of a sudden.
but I don’t care, and you don’t care
because we have our own problems
and only we
know what we are like in
me and you against the world moments.

Can he really not hear my pain?
Can anyone really not hear our pain?
Like a melancholy symphony, together.

I’m falling here
I’m falling, falling, falling,
and I want to see my children grow up.
I want to see what their faces look like
in five years in ten years
and I want you to be there with us.

Catch me now
and I promise I will hold you up forever.
Softly whispering,
that you were all I needed.

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