I screamed in agony and despair;
I felt so horror-stuck, alone!
Overwhelmed with the grief and the loss!
I wanted so much to be held again
to tell my girl friend – that I love her
that I didn’t mean all those hateful and nasty things
that I had said to her on the cell phone
Instead, I was closed up inside a stainless steel cabinet drawer
and labeled – “Traffic Fatality – Alcoholic Intoxication”!
The night I died, I was driving too fast on a dark country road.
Oh, how I wish I had a friend who had taken my keys, or someone
– who – I could have called – for a ride home.
The deer caught in my headlights was the last thing I saw
That’s when I drove off the road – My car struck a group of trees!
The deafening sound of the crushing car, as metal folded in on itself
never registered in my brain. The car’s engine falling into my lap
and severing my spine, should have been enough to sober me up!
I only realized what had happened when I looked down
and saw the gushing blood escaping from a deep abdominal wound.
When the cops found me two hours later
and pulled the sheet over my head, I screamed; I am not dead!
Call an ambulance; get this fucking engine off my legs!
But after another 2 hours, when the firemen finished cutting open the car
and had pulled my broken body out – I realized there was no going back.
It was all over!
My Dad had to identify me; he held up pretty well
considering what had happened; Dad only past out twice.
When I arrived at the morgue, my brother froze up;
he couldn’t bring himself to look at me.
My mom, she couldn’t stop sobbing.
I just wanted so much to wake up and tell everyone that I was alright!
At the funeral, was when I decided, that I really wanted to live!
Please God, I will be more careful, loving and kind,
even with myself. Please God, give me another chance,
I am only 29 years of age, and I had my whole life ahead of me.
I love my life, please God, give one more chance! Please!
– Claude Barrett – June 2007