IF I DIDN’T KNOW YOU

If I didn’t know you,
I wouldn’t be missing you.
Your smile wouldn’t be on my mind.
Your kind and gentle ways would
go unnoticed. My love for you
wouldn’t be floating around like a
pale ghost. How I called you
beautiful and meant it in
a good way. I was high on your
love. I needed nothing else.
How I tremble like a dope fiend
in need of a fix, my arms needing
only you. I do not know how
I am living now. I feel almost
like there is someone else in
my place. There is sand in my
heart. I’m like a sandman.
I am mud in the water. The sea
salt fills my pores and my wounds.
I am no nearer to my love.
I am no closer to feeling alive.
I am stranger to myself.
I wish you never existed.

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