Sweetie, I had a hysterectomy.
I haven’t been laid in six years.
Why don’t you come over and make
an old woman feel young again?

I can’t get pregnant anymore.
But if you still need protection
I have a gun in my drawer, which
I used to murder a lame lover.

But I’m certain I won’t have to use
it on you. I have a good feeling
about you. I need to feel young
again. Sweetie, I’m here if you want.