BIG

I am the casual male,
extra large, just don’t call me
big because I don’t like that.
In school when they couldn’t
pronounce my name they called me
big guy as if that was all
I was. They thought I had no
feelings. If I cried, they said
I was too big to cry. It
bothers me to think of those
things twenty years later. I’m
on prescription medicine
for depression and feelings
of anxiety. I want
smaller pills because I don’t
care for the big pills. They don’t
go down as easy even
with water. In the shower
I like to keep my clothes on.
I don’t like to see myself.
The board and care staff want me
to take off my clothes. They don’t
understand how big I feel
when I’m naked in the tub.

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