Paul Tristram

I am ‘Gifting’ you with (Two) Words
… ‘Volatile’ and ‘Tenderness’…
to Balance the Scales within your
‘So fucking far from Equilibrium
that Screaming exhausts itself’ Mind.
Shatter-Pattern… no-one Cares
except the Losers… and the Gainers
… watching you GROw smaller…
Blaming ‘Epilepsy’ only works once.
Careful what you’re coughing-up
… until you’ve turned-that-corner…
If you hold my (Playing With Fire)
hand, squint and then refocus…
I’ll point out ‘Emotional-Burn-Marks’
upon tonight’s Audience…
just as clearly as a Forensic UV Light
picks up cum-stains at a Crime Scene.
Each ‘Small Step’ that you take
… ‘Following Me’… is, in fact,
a Gigantic Leap away from yourself…
Remember that, when I Abandon you.

She made a huge ‘Mistake’
thinking Candle Magic
would Extinguish
the Burn of… Separation
… it CHAINED
the Past to the Present.
[Forcefully] Breaking
down [Emotionally] ‘Closed Doors’…
is the same as Killing
a Songbird to hear Music
… there’s Nowt
the other side but… Decay.
I do not ‘Regret’
… I Learn quickly and…
Narrow my Boat Forward
… much better Equipped.
Apologies do not Assuage,
or Fix a thing… that
is what ‘Goodbyes’ are for.

I keep BUMPING into her ‘Gloom’…
along the Hall Of Negative Thinking
… as I’m going about me business,
emptying (Constantly Full) ashtrays
as part of my Community Service
for being a naughty little bastard
… she’s well and truly STUCK!!!
I did a (Perfect) parkour wall flip
… and she just frowned…
so I sprinted and then knee-slid,
past her, along the parquet flooring
… and she just squidged her mouth
up all bored… until I rose to my feet
and she saw the blood on my (Now)
ripped classic Levi 501 Red Tag jeans
… then, she half-smiled, wickedly.
I’m not trying to get into her knickers,
after all, she’s only partially my type
… and, I’m already whittling down
my list of friends and acquaintances.
I just felt sorry for her, and wanted
… to (Help) DISLODGE her…
from that (Mental) Corner that she’s
worried-herself-into… No ‘Birds
In Cages’ upon my watch, yeah…
but, sometimes, you’ve just gotta let
people find the ‘Way Out’ themselves.

Victoria… Segregates
and Prioritises
… needle-matches…
[Forever] ‘Flashing’
Brilliance…
when Fatal-Blowing
‘Boundary Walls’
… I’m Fascinated.
A ‘Huntress’
who does not braggg
… I’m looking
for [Negative] ‘Ego’
… but, so far, I see…
Competitiveness
and Confidence only.
We’re not ‘Friends’,
just yet… but, she’s
weaving in-and-out
of my Acquaintances
… looking for an ‘In’.
Her [Slick] Behaviour
has started to Attract
Spectators… and I’m
beginning to ‘Focus’
and give away
‘Smiles’ far too freely.
When Chain Breakers
collide… the Dance…
becomes… Irresistible.

Those Shadows are Quiet
-ly Mad today…
and there is
an Owl Shriek
about to happen
somewhere…
(uncomfortable).
I asked her for the time
and she wept
“Sorry, young man…
I was lost in thought
… counting back
lonely years
like snagged tree rings.”
“You’re Beautiful”
I replied
“The Universe has
misjudged and dealt
you wrong… please,
accept their Apologies.”
Our sad smiles Clashed
before I turned away
… GUILTY…
‘Clever Words’…
break Hearts not fix them.

… even the drug-dirt beneath your fingernails reeks of us, baby…

We [Just] ‘Go Together’, yeah
… like Crack/Cocaine abuse,
blown Heart Valves and
Nasal Reconstructive Surgery.
She’s the pretty-tipsy-swish
to my sleazy-drunken-sway
… the Smash to my Grab…
we ‘Mirror’ each other both
Negatively and Hysterically.
Encouraging the ‘SHINE’
in our FLAWS… we Push,
we Fall… we Join, where
the ‘normal folk’ step over
our gutter-kerbside romance.
Hand-in-hand we’re a RIOT
… apart… we’ll purposely
get Arrested… just to Speak
‘Sweet [Insane] Nothings’
through cold Police Cell walls.

If I was Impressed I’d Smile,
Annoyed I’d Laugh…
but, your Proselytizing
is bringing out only Silence.
Metanoia is not ‘Repentance’
she is a lady of ‘Regret’
… and is far more relatable
than Kairos [Unfortunately].
I’ve spent 7 days Fasting
everything but ‘Symbols’
… I’m far outside
the GRASP of Persuasion…
and WOBBLING around
upon the fragile platform
of this calm [Inner] Patience.
I’ve Discovered something
a ‘Knowledge’ Hidden
inside a creaking-doored
Solitude… and I would like
to share my new Miracle…
but, you just will not Shut Up.

Whoops, I nearly broke my neck
upon that discarded Love Egg
… where were we?
oh yes, I was right here, wasn’t I.
Ouch, that’s pinching… careful
with those ‘Personal Questions’.
Nah, I’m staying for a bit
… I like watching you dressing,
whilst my ‘Emotions’ are settling.
Oh, long stripy socks, for sure
… ask a Punk Rocker, innit.
Aw, all my hats suit you…
except that one, I’m only jesting
… you look Cute-As-A-Button.
It’s not my fault that
‘One More Time For The World’
and ‘I’m Gonna Be Late’…
get me all Excited-As-Fuck again.
20 more minutes, my darling…
then I’m leaving half-dressed
down the back [Dodgy] drainpipe
… just to show your neighbours
how ‘Hot’ you really fucking are!

I’ll trade a Sampson Mordan
ruby glass vinaigrette bottle
a third full of the heartbroken
tears of a ‘tricked’ virgin
3 weeks away from dollymop
… for some dry powder,
a skull & bones Gate-Pass…
and a partway-sincere kiss.
Nah, stay away from Uptown
… the house burglary
turned nasty, ugly and fatal
… you can smell the Murder
across most of the Borough.
Let Sammy know I’m ‘round,
I’ll be in the Jack O’ Spades
just afore midnight next
with The Dockside Knives
… they’re inching Territory.
Ha! they not be sex manacle
wrist-wounds… I’m villain…
they only proper heal in Clink.
Later, yeah… be lucky, girl…
yer looking more and more
like yer dear old mother
with each passing 12 month
… I drank so much Belch
I lost two toes and a finger…
the day they swung her Dead.

“… no-no, don’t Corner me, please…
you’re the one with the ‘Words’
… I’ve not been avoiding… you,
I’ve been periphery hovering
… nah, thank you, this ‘Distance’
is good… and necessary…
your ‘Fluidity’ is quite unnerving.
OMG… you’re actually
using ‘Patience’ and ‘Politeness’
as Chess-Moving Weapons
… don’t ‘Smile’… oh dear.
Yes, she explained to you, right?
… aye, ‘Vasovagal’… it’s a bitch.
As long as you stay… Over There
… I’ll be just fine… jittery though,
did we just actually ‘Tune-In’?
Like a straining dog on a leash
… what a bizarre feeling…
it kicked-off in adolescence
… I always hated it until right now.
Oooh, she’s right about you…
you talk with your fingers too
… mhm, me also, very much…
thanks for being such a Gentleman…”