Through morning mist
Hiroko climbs
To scatter oranges
And limes
Around and in
The maple tub,
To twist the spigot,
Fill it up,
The steam will carry
Citrus to
The sleeping
Capybaras who
Will wake & pad
Down mountain path,
Enjoy their
Misty morning bath
Then, warm (and soaking
Wet), desist
& vanish back
Into the mist
Oh, to be pampered like Kapibara-san. – mh clay
It was a choice between a new bike and a second cerebral cortex. The first cerebral cortex was getting a tad fuzzy, she was definitely in need of an upgrade, but there was no denying that this was one sweet bike. Thirty-two gears! So, Lindsey took it for a spin. Felt like the chain was a little loose. As she …
I dog ear a page in a book I haven’t read
& scrawl “!!!” in the margin
Beside a random sentence I’ve underlined
I write “Get Gazpacho recipe from Julie
ASAP! Incredible!” across the
Dry erase board on the refrigerator door
Without the slightest intention of ever
Erasing it. One morning
I will wander past it, aware that I’ve
Seen it many times, unaware
That there is no Judy
And that I hate gazpacho. Maybe
I will pick up a dozen old vinyl records
At the thrift shop, smash them up
And photograph the shards on the living room
Rug. One day scrolling through my
Phone I will wonder what
The hell THAT was all about. Why
Was I so angry at Vicki Carr or
Enoch Light? I’ll clip stories
From French & Brazilian newspapers,
Fold them up & stick them
In my wallet. Geez, I will mutter,
I guess I spoke French & Portuguese
But I don’t remember a syllable. And
Why do I have all these unopened
Bags of orange socks? Who is the girl in this
Snapshot? Why did I cut out
Her face? What sort of person
Was I anyway? And never
Suspecting as my brain turns
Slowly to macaroni salad that I
Was (am) just fucking with you (me)
Because I’m (you’re) kind of a
Dick but if it’s any
Consolation remember that
When I was laughing my ass
Off at your befuddlement
& distress so were you.
A serious take on not taking yourself seriously. – mh clay
There was a barrel of fish in the basement, by the pool table. The barrel was full of brine, and when somebody ordered fish, the cook would come downstairs and grab one from the barrel. That’s how it was done then. Augie was also down there, an awful lot, practicing trick shots on the pool table. The felt had small …
At 5 AM the house blew up
It did not trouble Libby’s sleep
A tremor shook the coffee cup,
The gas line in the basement rup-
Tured, and the gas began to seep.
At 5 AM the house blew up
Did everybody get out? Yup.
No need to wail, no need to weep
A tremor shook the coffee cup:
The cat took off, likewise the pup
The smoke detector made a ‘beep’
At 5 AM the house blew up
The KA-BLAM! did not interrupt
Libby’s slumber. It was deep!
A tremor shook the coffee cup,
Unwashed after a late-night sup.
The dawn did break, the birds did cheep
A tremor shook the coffee cup
At 5 AM. The house blew up.
In that scene, all electric could disrupt. – mh clay
Peter-Paul Nilsson, the famous Scandinavian radio journalist, was conducting an interview with Dr. Ralph McGill in the back seat of a limo when the driver stroked out. The car went off the road and into the river. “Hold that thought,” said Dr. McGill, rapidly assessing the situation. As the car slowly sank, he located a tool box under the seat …
Camp Ahltaha was on Fairview Lake, in what William Carlos Williams referred to as “The ribbed north-end of Jersey.” I was the ‘pioneering’ merit badge instructor there during my 16th summer, teaching Boy Scouts useful knots. We also tied sticks together (“lashing”) to build ‘structures,’ which fell apart immediately. We shared the lake with Camp Nobebosco, where “Friday the 13th” …
File down the callus!
Said the alchemist’s daughter
Mix another monkey!
Laughed the alchemist’s son
Roll a frosty rolling pin
Across the table top
& crush the frozen seeds,
Now that the seed counting’s done
Two birds preparing
To pretend to be peaches,
Two ripe peaches dropping
To the dark rich earth
Their fine feathers fluid, their
Fine feathers fuzz,
Their pale green bellies glowing
From the radio song, &
Hollow bones aquiver
With the radio buzz!
Turn up the music!
Said the alchemist’s daughter
Turn it up more!
Laughed the alchemist’s son
10,000 moths swept into the volcano
20,000 wings afire like jade
The flames shot up with a deafening roar
Wind sliced through the canyon
Like a white hot blade
Everything’s glowing
Sighed the alchemist’s daughter
Everything’s gone
Laughed the alchemist’s son
They didn’t learn this in a STEM program. – mh clay
Dentist Miz Derwood Stage Manager Stagehands Warthog Narwhal Walrus The Dentist’s Office. Miz Derwood is in the dentist’s chair. The DENTIST enters, donning his rubber gloves. He checks his clipboard. DENTIST: Good morning, Miz… Derwood? Is it missus? Or Miss? MIZ DERWOOD: Misty. Like the East River in the morning. DENTIST (adjusting his goggles) I see. He selects a snorkel …
Preliminary Inventory:
Bullet hole decal in the window pane.
Bad dreams to pay for room service. Something
At the bottom of the ice bucket I don’t want to see.
Observations and/or Complaints:
Raze every hotel between here & the harbor &
You still wouldn’t see the ocean. Footsteps on the
Ceiling from guests gone home thirty-five years ago.
Conversation in the Next Room:
The penne is frigging ice cold. I sent it
Back and twenny minutes later here
It comes again with parsley sprinkled on top.
Conversation in the Room on the Other Side:
What am I, a moron? Hey, gimme
Those opera glasses, maybe there’s a
Vogue model across the street getting dressed
A Possible Solution:
The answer is static electricity, sir. The
Missing sock is stuck to the back of your
Shirt. I all but guarantee it.
It will turn up when you put your shirt
On the hanger. Failing that, you’ll encounter
It when getting dressed for dinner one evening
A Questionable Proposition:
The belt is reversible, also the vest. When you
Invert the lenses of your 20/200 prescription
Glasses, you can see through solid walls
A Game of Bingo, Perhaps:
Twist to the east, & lock eyes with the beast
Twist to south, & stare into his mouth
Twist to the west, all your sins now confessed
Twist to the north, & a cold blast of wind
Awakens you. How did I get on this glacier?
Better call the desk & ask for a Bromo-Seltzer
A Comforting Verse from the Gideon Bible beside the Bed:
‘If U R lonely Jerry the Bell Hop
Knows What’s What & can fix U up’
¬—Written in Margin of Psalm 23
Wake-Up Call Request Rehearsal:
Room 413, wake-up call for 6:30, and
Right after send up somebody to untwist
Me something is stuck & stuck good thanks
Some Final Thoughts:
The unanswered question: why are candies
In the vending machines in the hall so cheap
& shabby I have never even heard of these
Brands ‘Best Fine Sweets’ good God I
Have never hated anyone as much as I
Hate the man who picked the drapes
For this room but blessings on whoever
Purchased the waste basket in the bathroom
With the eyeball pattern, you sir are a god
The same hotel hijinx, even after sixty-plus. – mh clay
