With equation of life I stopped worrying myself for a while,
With its endless unknowns I am no longer concerned.
Other people’s solutions presented with vigor and style
I don’t read anymore, and my thoughts on the topic I burned.
Let them search algorithms and drown in interpolations,
Let them solve differential integral, wish them success.
I’ll take in every day I’ve still got with its joys and frustrations
Till my private equation achieves upper limit of … (guess).
This is a lecture about Homer,
“Iliad” and “Odyssey” guy,
So, to the following questions
Today we need to reply:
Who was Homer?
Was he blind?
Is Homer one man or a number of people?
Is Homer a name or maybe it’s a profession?
Did he even exist?
And really, why do we care?
I change my answers every year
According to the latest finds.
At the moment, as far as we care,
The following picture transpires:
Who was Homer?
Nobody knows.
Was he blind?
Perhaps.
Is Homer one man or a number of people?
There is no consensus.
Is Homer a name or may be it’s a profession?
Could be any of those.
Did he even exist?
Most likely.
And really, why do we care?
It’s all about eternal topics,
This Iliad and Odyssey stuff.
Be sure to read these immortal epics.
I think I told you enough
He took a dictionary and
Dug out a bunch of words.
They were long, unusual,
They stuck between the teeth,
Learned, over learned words
Not for an everyday usage.
abecedarian,
bibliopegy,
contumacious,
dermatoglyphics…
He searched and he found many.
He arranged the words in lines,
From these lines he shaped a free verse.
The poem looked very impressive –
Sullen academic kind,
IQ was bursting from it
In words long and brain breaking.
He felt sick but he did not buckle
Under the intellectual weight of the poem.
epiphenomenon,
fugacious,
gemutlich,
horripilation…
He wanted to be published so badly!
He cornered a friend and read him
This cleverly crafted poem.
The friend exclaimed “Amazing!”
And hastily went into hiding –
Extremely encouraging sign,
This must be a powerful writing!
Indeed, very soon it was published
In a serious poetry journal.
It is now on his wall in a frame,
He feels proud and self important.
idiopathic,
jackanapes,
Kafkaesque,
legerdemain…
Long live the power of word usage!
First of all, are you really sure?
Do you want THAT MUCH to know the news?
Are you indeed willing to endure
Pages on pages of death and abuse?
It’s not too late, you can reconsider,
Come on, throw the newspaper away.
Well, if you are a determined reader
Proceed with this manual, OK.
Take a deep breath and plunge into pages,
Scan the titles, don’t linger on any text,
Crisis, gunmen, fraud – it’s all OUTRAGEOUS,
But really, what did you expect?
Wars, insurgents, hunger, kidnapping –
International news, don’t be surprised.
At this stage you may feel UNHAPPY –
But being updated has its price!
After all it’s not on your doorstep,
It may reach you, but not today.
May be it’s only journalists gossip…
Keep pretending it’s FAR AWAY.
Local news, not much better here –
Budget cuttings, pollution, drugs…
Take another deep breath, you hear?
Yes, the newspaper really SUCKS.
So, do you feel worse every moment,
Your blood pressure rising like hell?
Don’t be afraid, it’s perfectly normal,
You are supposed to be UNWELL.
Sometimes you may be really lucky
To stumble on positive news! You MUST
Concentrate there, it’s highly unlikely
That the positive news will last!
You made it safely through all the pages –
Take another deep breath, RELAX.
Hold the newspaper firmly by the edges
And give it to somebody else.
You may feel a certain SATISFACTION
When another victim goes through the news –
Don’t worry, this is a natural reaction
When others suffer and not only you.
But be realistic, don’t count on this –
It may not work, please be aware:
No matter how dreadful the newspaper is
Some people
JUST
DON’T
CARE.
