E is for Existence

featured in the poetry forum January 18, 2014  :: 0 comments

Maybe I did ask to be
and maybe I
was offered
a comprehensive list
of parents
to choose from
and it might well be
I was given a reason
and a mission to accomplish
and each and every character
I have ever met are merry
marionettes speaking
the pre-planned script
written by a bevy
of seasoned Sesame Street
styled ventriloquists
who were hired
by the executive
producer of
the greatest
mini-series ever told
to guide me
from my ABC’s to my
XY and final Z
I’d rather be
the brainchild
of a TV show
than the bastard
baby of a prehistoric

editors note:

I’d like this MC to square my story with the media and move on to the book deal. – mh

Supporting Role

April 20, 2013  :: 0 comments

I am more sidekick
than hero
the buddy
rather than
the leading man
the roommate
of the guy
who gets
all the action
I am the wing man
not the lady killer
I provide the
comic relief
not the
and I may never
get the girl
next door
by the
time the
credits roll
but I do
get to be
her best friend forever
and that’s
good enough
for me

Office Worker

featured in the poetry forum April 20, 2013  :: 0 comments

When they streamlined
the company
they let go
of the guy who
daydreamed at
the watercooler
and whistled
in his cubicle
you know that
guy who always
had something
nice to say
or said nothing
at all
the one who
always came
in late
and left early
has been laid off
and I heard
he stopped
to smell
some roses
on his way
to the exit

editors note:

Until they start charging for smelling, better sniff all we can – damn few things are free in this world anymore. – mh

Tough Talk

October 27, 2012  :: 0 comments

Why you smug punk
who snorts
the white powdered
good life
served on a silver platter
you snarky, sniveling
specimen of generation
do you really think
in your VIP room
that the world will
pole dance forever
for you
and that you can
throw good money
after bad
behavior and
hit the mega jackpot
talk to me
in twenty years
and let’s see
what has
happened to
your eyes
which roll
like dice at
everything I say
when your
dimpled cheeks resemble
bruises in a
beer brawl
and your world
is stripped
of strippers
and all
that is left
is you
an empty
can of a man
a Bud
who never
got wiser

Hardcover Lover

October 27, 2012  :: 0 comments

I am searching for
a bespectacled
specimen of the
Jane Austen
who has sometimes
fingers which
do the walking through
the yellowed pages
of my past and accept
me for the quotation
marks around
the dramatic
dialogue I speak
and who sees me
as the dashing sort
with dashed dreams
debonair and demanding
as the dude in
Fifty Shades
and who places me
in the Erotic Fiction
section of her
store bought thoughts
and who talks
about me
at her book club
causing the literate
moms to lick
the froth off
their Frappucinos
and say:
“I’ll have what she is having.”

JPeggie Sue

featured in the poetry forum October 27, 2012  :: 0 comments

I have been following
your posts
your pics
your tweets
and your blog
and I must say
you have
the prettiest
profile on Facebook
I even watched as
your status changed
from “in a relationship”
to single
and I hope it is ok
that I checked you
out on OkCupid
and I even caught you
on Plenty of Fish
and now here we are
you are
texting on
your iPhone
as I sit with my
iPad on my lap
each of us
with eTickets
for a flight
to New York
and Lord Almighty
we are seated
next to each other
on the plane
but then
you get your Kindle
out and never
give me a second look
so I have no choice
but to whip out
my Nook

editors note:

Ah, sweet cyber love; nearness, but no nooky. – mh

Tweet Dreams

June 19, 2012  :: 0 comments

A revelation will
dawn on civilization like
the second coming or the
twelfth hour arrival of the prophecy
promised by various
dusty non-digital books
and this sermon will amount
to a hill of hallelujahs
and certain sects will
say “I told you so”
and others will say
“how could I know?”
and the stoners
and the stone throwers
will unite in a
holographic chant
as they are beamed up
like Spock and Kirk
to a place where
Charlton Heston
shoots flowers from a rifle
and that trifle you
worry your little head about
will be straightened out
like the sheets everyone
will wear wrapped around them
and Bacchus’s wine will flow
on a summer’s day
in the fall
of ideologies both
Western and Eastern
and everything intangible
will be all right

Strictly Confidential

featured in the poetry forum June 19, 2012  :: 0 comments

Look, I don’t have to answer
that call, question, survey
and who says I have to enter
that store, school, museum exhibit
showing the last remains of the Wooly Mammoth
or the last paintings of Delacroix
I certainly don’t have to win this
board game, battle of the wits,
chess match or that debate
on the merits of certain Spanish wines
Ethiopian coffee or
Danish pastries and I am not
going to tell you my favorite
season, movie, top 40 song,
action star, book, car, vacation spot,
erotic fantasy, shock jock, rock group,
rapper nor will I share my personal
dreams, aspirations, fears, phobias,
fabrics, and I refuse to give you
fun facts about my hobbies,
nor will I disclose the pet names
I call my lovers
or the cute names I gave my dogs
or the four letter words I use
when I stub my toe, slice my finger
cutting onions
or get cut off on the highway
so don’t even try to get me to reveal
my early family life
or latent fetish tendencies…
unless of course you plan on revealing
what I want to know most like:
where you hid that bag of Lays potato chips

editors note:

No bag o’ chips? No answers! – mh

Call Me

featured in the poetry forum April 21, 2012  :: 0 comments

Call me short,
broke, incapable of
holding down
a job or a relationship
you can call me
substandard, subhuman,
subterranean who slums
through his sad excuse
for a life story
and you can
spit on my next of kin
throw stones
at my un-original sins
and toss pebbles at
my troubles
you can snicker at me
from the bare soles
of my feet
to my lost soul
who has no spirit guide
you can call me
all these things
just call,
I want to see if
my new cell phone
ringtone works

editors note:

A little white noise to check reception – content is superfluous. – mh

Sweeping generalities
(under the table)

featured in the poetry forum January 14, 2012  :: 0 comments

Just because
is falling together
doesn’t mean
it isn’t falling
and just because
is coming together
doesn’t mean
it can’t come apart
so I am going
to go through with
my obligatory
with white trash
and allow myself
to be midwifed
into mid-life
and then
I will party
crash the pearly
with my
VIP pass
which I stole
from Paul
to give to

editors note:

Falling and coming, it’s all for the benefit of middle-aged passage from here to the next. Paul’s got pockets full that will never be missed and Peter will be none the wiser. – mh