Strictly Confidential

featured in the poetry forum June 19, 2012  :: 0 comments

Look, I don’t have to answer
that call, question, survey
and who says I have to enter
that store, school, museum exhibit
showing the last remains of the Wooly Mammoth
or the last paintings of Delacroix
I certainly don’t have to win this
board game, battle of the wits,
chess match or that debate
on the merits of certain Spanish wines
Ethiopian coffee or
Danish pastries and I am not
going to tell you my favorite
season, movie, top 40 song,
action star, book, car, vacation spot,
erotic fantasy, shock jock, rock group,
rapper nor will I share my personal
dreams, aspirations, fears, phobias,
fabrics, and I refuse to give you
fun facts about my hobbies,
nor will I disclose the pet names
I call my lovers
or the cute names I gave my dogs
or the four letter words I use
when I stub my toe, slice my finger
cutting onions
or get cut off on the highway
so don’t even try to get me to reveal
my early family life
or latent fetish tendencies…
unless of course you plan on revealing
what I want to know most like:
where you hid that bag of Lays potato chips

editors note:

No bag o’ chips? No answers! – mh

Call Me

featured in the poetry forum April 21, 2012  :: 0 comments

Call me short,
broke, incapable of
holding down
a job or a relationship
you can call me
substandard, subhuman,
subterranean who slums
through his sad excuse
for a life story
and you can
spit on my next of kin
throw stones
at my un-original sins
and toss pebbles at
my troubles
you can snicker at me
from the bare soles
of my feet
to my lost soul
who has no spirit guide
you can call me
all these things
just call,
I want to see if
my new cell phone
ringtone works

editors note:

A little white noise to check reception – content is superfluous. – mh

Sweeping generalities
(under the table)

featured in the poetry forum January 14, 2012  :: 0 comments

Just because
everything
is falling together
doesn’t mean
it isn’t falling
and just because
everything
is coming together
doesn’t mean
it can’t come apart
so I am going
to go through with
my obligatory
responsibilities
with white trash
panache
and allow myself
to be midwifed
into mid-life
and then
I will party
crash the pearly
gates
with my
never-said-I-was-a-saint
VIP pass
which I stole
from Paul
to give to
Peter

editors note:

Falling and coming, it’s all for the benefit of middle-aged passage from here to the next. Paul’s got pockets full that will never be missed and Peter will be none the wiser. – mh

Brain Tease

September 11, 2011  :: 0 comments

Hold a mental picture
of a physical body
in your mind’s eye
allow it to
come into focus
what do you see
do you see a floating
fetus on a space Odyssey
or do you see a naked
Miss Universe or
the face of Time Magazine’s
Person of the Year
or do you just see
grandpa, still vibrant
without his cane
able to
dance a jig
at a hootenanny
whomever you have
just seen is now
dissolving fast
my, but you
have a short
attention span

The Fabric of Life

featured in the poetry forum September 1, 2011  :: 0 comments

I am a human parrot
repeating singsong
that was sung to me
in my birdcage crib
I am made of
made for mass
consumption
products
and therefore I am
part Mickey Mouse
part Dr. Pepper
with Abe Lincoln penny
thoughts which add up
to a pocket-full
of gently used ideals
and when it is all over
donate my
overalls
to Goodwill
and re-sell my
denim dreams
to those
willing to
slip into them
in the
changing rooms
of time

Extended Stay

featured in the poetry forum July 16, 2011  :: 0 comments

You might
only be
passing
through but
I live this
twenty four seven
and built it all
from the ground up
you
have only
scratched my
surface
I am
so much more
than this embodiment
stranded
here on an
island of
myself
and while
you think getting to know
me
is just a brief vacation
I am hoping
it might become
our Bermuda triangle
and that you
will remain
lost
with me
forever

Caveman’s Complaint

featured in the poetry forum July 16, 2011  :: 0 comments

Since I have to hunt
and gather
I would rather
know now
what you
bring to the bedrock
besides your
propensity
to perpetuate
the species
read my lips
or the symbols
I have drawn
on the granite
I really need
us to rub twigs
and create fire
just about
now
or I am
going to
invent the wheel
and roll on
out of here

Best in Show

May 31, 2011  :: 0 comments

Everything
is coming up
noses
that have been
cosmetically
tweaked
and collagen
injected puckers
abound
and all this
expensive
perfume
cheapens
the aroma
until eventually
chicks
will be genetically
engineered
to lay
Faberge eggs
all because
we live in a time
when groomed
dogs strut down
the catwalk
while Pussy Galore
runs amok
with a million
randy James Bonds
chasing tail

Evaluation

featured in the poetry forum May 31, 2011  :: 0 comments

Take a look at
yourself
what is your
marital status
are you sufficiently
housed
what is your
net worth on the job
market
are your children
showing scholastic
aptitude
how healthy
is your cholesterol
would you say
you are optimistic
or pessimistic
most of the time
I ask this
because I am
your self-esteem
and this is
your daily pop quiz

Academia

featured in the poetry forum April 22, 2011  :: 0 comments

Your true age
is betrayed
by the college ruled
lines on your forehead
and the legal pad color
of your teeth shows me
you have sipped
from the bitter, staining
black coffee of nights
spent alone
straining your eyes
on the classics
your spectacles
and that thickening mid-section
and thinning hairline
and those elbow patches
on your corduroy blazer
say more about you
than the evasive
answers you gave
at the
Q and A
following your lecture
on Lolita
which your
teacher’s pet
attended in
her alluring
turtleneck
on that chilly Autumn
at Cambridge