Ivan Jenson

Everything about them
was Elizabethan
until they dropped
all pretense
and became just
like Liz
Taylor boozing with
Richard Burton
in a petty spat
over a bottle of Bourbon
yet they made bitterness
glamorous and verbal sparring
amorous like something to
aspire to at a cocktail party
competition to see
who loves the fiercest
and will take home
the first prize
of seeing the bloodshot
fire of love
burning
in the other’s eyes

When they finally
look over their shoulder
to see if I am
catching up to them
there will be nothing to
see folks
because I will be miles back
sitting in a bistro
having brunch
with newfound friends
the sort that likes to kick back
and relax
with tequila
and eggs ranchero
rather than sweat it out
on the race tracks
you see, I know
how to take a hint
the good life is neither
a marathon or a sprint

I surely will find
the steamy answer
in a pharmacy paperback
or a life hack from one of
Oprah’s guru guests
and I am sure
somebody pickpocketed
my broken heart
and donated it to
the thrift shop
because I saw one
of my ripped regrets
in a customer’s cart
and I could be
somebody’s grandfather
while mine was a dapper
Costa Rican man
who spoke broken english
while I twist my mother tongue
give it an overbite
like a cubist dentist
and I don’t aspire to
be this century’s innovator
I just want to be
some special woman’s
alternative
to a vibrator

I like quirky individuals
of the female persuasion
who wear Diane Keaton hats
sport funky boots
have dimple indentations
shoulders inked with tats
and who own
black cats
and a vintage vinyl
record player
where you can hear
the needle scratch
I consider them
with their hoop earrings
and smokey mascara
to be the best catch
because they can
adore Plath
yet still know
how to laugh
at an offhand remark
and they often
show great originality
as well as ingenuity
when we are
naked in the dark

I should have saved
some moments
in a piggy bank
along with quarters
dimes and nickels
because even a
penny’s worth
of yesterday’s laughter
would now surely be
worth a million dollars
in the current currency
of curling up in
an easy chair
feeling sorry for
myself for having spent
life without saving up
for a rainy day
like this one
when it seems
I can only
afford a dollar
and a nostalgic
dream

How do you manage
your unruly hair
and your green eyes
all at once
I mean are your
freckles really
hieroglyphics?
because I read
your face like
obscure non-fiction
and skip to the part
that describes your lips
which have set sail
a thousand shipments
of online impulse buys
and I wish I knew
your password
but I have been blocked
after far too many tries

I am wearing her ex’s
bathrobe and slippers
’cause I got caught
in a sudden downpour
meanwhile my Levi identity
and my Fruit of the Loom
elastic dreams
and V-Neck what the heck
sock-it-to-me
way of getting by
is tumbling in the dryer
as I sip hot cocoa
by a fire
and I would do it all again
because nothing can keep me away
from this divorcee
certainly not
a little rain

I know instantly
if we have chemistry
when you share
your personal history
and then when you
speak of the future
that you envision
I try to picture
your dreams
and imagine
myself within them
and as for your
great complaint
and those
grim images
that you paint
just remember
this is our first date
and your psychiatrist
I ain’t

We all draw dirty pictures
on the bathroom stalls
of our memory
and we exaggerate
the features
of those who insulted
or praised us
or perhaps raised
our vibrations
or threw us
under a bus
thus
we live with distortion
mental gymnastics
and contortion
we are just too near-sighted
to deal with that which is far
from perfect
so we get drunk
and heed the
graffiti on the wall
and for a good time
we call

I am being groomed
to be entombed
it happens every night
when I lay down
and cross my hands
over my chest
like my grandfather did
when he napped
and like a graduate of life
in death I will be
black-capped
and buried
deep with my diploma
and ready
to submit my resumé
which will be
whatever the heck
my gravestone
words will say
and as for me
I will be hired
by the HR department
of eternity