Bradley Mason Hamlin

Listening
to Nina Simone sing “Ooh, Child”
I let my mind roll slip trip
back reverse into yesteryear
while considering
my love
for
a crazy place called
the Magic Kingdom
and it’s almost impossible
to know the who
what
why where
of the emotional attachment

Obviously
you have a magical time as a child
and you imprint events

The smile on your mom’s pretty face
Christmas mornings
summer always
but of course, Disneyland…

Naturally,
some of us grow
out of the dream or
the wish the heart wants to make

You
concentrate on work
mortgages
preschools
blood pressure tests
guns
or no guns
abortions
or not enough abortions

As the purple balloon rises
ungripped
you’re losing it
the string
cutting across the soft skin
of your lifeline

And how fucking sad is that?

Listening
to Tchaikovsky
and reading
Charles Bukowski

I am triggered
to remember
my earliest memory

sitting
on a shag carpet
and playing
with a green bendable
Gumby

certainly no wonder
why I’m
emotionally connected
to the silly toy

even now
I can’t help myself
from buying/rescuing one
if I see him hanging
on the shelf
of a gift shop

I spent
many hours alone
in my room
like Brian Wilson
as a child …

this is how
the madness begins
and perhaps
the creativity as well

building
the imaginary wall
around one’s self – one
Lego brick at a time

all the while
the escape routes
presenting themselves
with each new
amazing
thought.

Sometimes
the
moon
looks
like a lonely
cut lemon

makes me
act real
quiet-
ly

never
howling
screaming
or running
naked

it’s
not that
I don’t want
to…

it’s
just that
I don’t want
to

get caught.

thought I had vision
contemplating universe
wearing glasses now

sometimes
when I’m stuck
drinking with other men
they try to drink more
or quicker
or weirder

they begin to slur
talk shit
and stare
at my wife’s tits
while telling
their own wives to fuck off

they want more
they want something
they think
they don’t have

but they’ve never
been inside the E.R.
with a bleeding ulcer
or behind the bars
of the Navy brig
or in bare knuckle
fights for life

there are
no easy shortcuts,
just ice it down
and make sure
the lawn
stays
nice and green