The Cholesterol Epidemic

by on February 24, 2018 :: 0 comments

photo "Hungry Yet?" by Tyler Malone aka The Second Shooter

No need to fudge on the details, give them scope. Let them dominate the sketch. For instance, the orange art deco chair and ottoman you found at a flea market. You stopped using them after the termite infestation. The termites have long since fled their porous frames. Insecticide sprayed late destroyed any malingerers. Death comes in many guises. That is to say, in many flavors. The insecticide reeked of oranges and onions, an onerous combination.

When did I decide to intrude upon the prelude of this thought piece? When it seemed the reader might hurry off to the washroom for bladder relief, or to the icebox for a snack. I recommend carrot sticks or apple slices to anything hydrogenated or cholesterol-spiking.

Actually, cholesterol research yields mixed results. Eat less and walk more. That is my simple recipe for longer life. Eat less, walk more. And if one is afraid to walk in a quadrant teeming with addicts, thugs and thieves who would knife you for your sneakers, then running stairs in the tenement works wonders for the thighs, that is to say if the stairwell isn’t crawling with addicts, thugs and thieves.

I live on the eighth floor of my tenement, and running stairs is now my go-to exercise. Of course, I carry a knife with me at all times, as a prophylactic against threats of violence. I show the knife to potential troublemakers. I dislike violence, but am quick to it.

The other day an obese junkie, dressed in soiled dungarees, stopped me in the stairwell as I came to the third floor.

“What do you want?” I asked, showing the blade.

“No, man. No trouble, seriously. I just want to ask you something.”

“Make it quick,” I said, still showing the blade.

“When you started this story, did you have any idea you would meet someone like me in a stairwell?”

“It was a distinct possibility.”

“But I’m an obese junky, a rarity.”

“Agreed. And?”

“What do you plan to do with me?”

But the big guy was mistaken if he thought I had any use for him beyond inserting a human being into the mix, more as a signpost than a real entity, more as a concluding note than a plot twist.

“I’m hurt by that.”

“Then eat less, walk more.”

editors note: The first bite, that’s what we yearn for as we chew anew, over and over. We feast for that same first bite when we should be taking a first step just to take that same step towards something more. ~ tyler malone

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