Apuleius

by on May 15, 2015 :: 0 comments

for Dr. David Hillman

My best friend wears the head of an ass. It’s not an easy situation, but it’s one we can deal with. The head of the ass gives him access to the super-temporal realm, i.e., makes him a total nutball.

He is, without question, great at parties. People are sad here in the developed world these days, we’re whining about ideologies, and war, and all the other uglies. Not enough smoothies… we know it’s tough. But my friend, with that donkey head, he is the antidote. The pharmakon!

He is so funny. I just work at community college you know, an adjunct, which means I have a little free time but not much money, so I just invite people I like over to stand on our porch and drink cheap wine and shoot the proverb, cause what else we gonna do? I ask my friend Joe, “How’s business treating you?” and my pal with the ass’s head says to me and Joe: “I’d like to eat off your face!”

I know it, sounds ridiculous, but Joe and I laughed so much. It was more in the way he said it. Although, to be truthful (and why shouldn’t I be?) it was the meaning of what he said too.

Because that’s what a lot of us want to do now. America is omnivorous. Why shouldn’t we be eating faces? Showing our true colors, of flesh and blood?

We put our arms around his hairy head, and nuzzled our faces into his fur, grinning like idiots.

After the hug, my buddy with the head of an ass sat on the porch swing, and stared at the sunset, and me and Joe kept up with our not-so-witty banter. But we always love it when my friend comes over. He makes us feel better, and reminds us, without saying a word, of some of the other things we’d rather not talk about.

editors note: Most of us would be so lucky to be transformed into an ass and see the things an ass would see, say the things an ass would say, live the life an ass would live. The only trouble is finding someone who loves your ass. - Tyler Malone

Leave a Reply