Summer

by on August 23, 2019 :: 0 comments

Summer greets me in my memory like an old friend
suddenly I am ten years old with dripping hair and tan, damp skin
the smell of chlorine and endless possibilities lingers in the air around me
I have never had my heart broken
today I am a mermaid with my own underwater kingdom to explore
I do not notice the flaws of my body or the flaws of the world
only the brilliant sunshine reflecting off the turquoise water like diamonds just for me

Some days I am filled with gratitude to not be ten anymore and to have acquired the hard earned knowledge I now hold
other days I desperately wish I could return to the time of my childhood when summer made me beam with joy instead of shudder with shame
bathing suit season
never thin enough
never shaped correctly
too smudged with freckles of past sun damage and stretch marks of past shape shifting

Why are we like this?
why can’t I learn from my ten year self who intuitively knew there are more supreme matters to focus on
like underwater kingdoms
and smelling fresh honeysuckle
and running with dogs
I believe it is worth remembering how it felt to be truly free as a child
so I am striving to let that buried part of me to surface
to teach who I am now how to be free again
and the absolute dire importance of that freedom

– Kerby Purser

editors note:

Important at ten; important now, as then. Remember when? – mh clay

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