Christmas Quandary

by on December 18, 2016 :: 0 comments

In the beginning
There was god…

Then came questions

Man likes answers
Likes invention
There’s the devil in our dogma
In our absolutes, oppression

Our best rubrics
Have the best marketing
All our attentions are captured and directed
Where the market needs them to be

Then someone tells a joke
And we laugh
Sings a song
And we’re filled
With happiness
Good will

So, why not a handshake?
A kind word?
Yes, this season manipulates merry
Into goods, for the good of commerce
Which is, of course, good for all

But, let’s make it what we want
Wonder
Welcome
Warm wishes

Turn our myths to mirth
Our markets to magnanimity
Homogenous happiness and harmony

So…

An elf, a reindeer and a rastafarian
Walk into a bar
The bartender says,
“We don’t serve reindeer in here!”
The rasta says,
“Dat’s OK, Mon! I’m not hungry.”

The elf says,
“I don’t get out much these days,
It’s nice to get away.”
The rasta says,
“No, Mon? I’d o’ thought
Workin’ for da Santa Man would be
A walk in da park.”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” says the elf.
“We work ‘round the clock for no pay.
Santa says we should be happy with the knowledge
That we are bringing joy to all those children.
Well, I got lots of joy,
But, you’re gonna have to buy the drinks,
Cuz I’m broke.”

The rasta says, “Wow, Mon!
I thought you elf types were rich, rich, rich.
Santa don’t pay you?”
The elf says,
“Santa may be jolly, but he’s a cheap bastard.”

The reindeer says nothing,
Because reindeer can’t talk.

That would be ridiculous.

Merry Christmas!

editors note: 'tis the season to give 'til it hurts. But it doesn't have to be? Can you imagine putting bows and ribbons on homogenous happiness and harmony and calling them gifts? Yep, I can too. Thanks for the cockle warming, MH! ~ johnny o

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