Featured Stories

Who Killed the Spud

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The mascot for the Apopka Spuds baseball team was helping the team prepare for the season opener. The hated Zellwood Zephyr was in town. Irwin “Sport” Cotes, a twelve-year-old fan, was the mascot for the upcoming 1905 season. He functioned as the batboy, errand boy, and did whatever was asked of him. Team manager Hiram “Ducky” Dooley took roll call …

May 14, 2022 :: 0 comments

Never Trust A Drone

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Monday Without warning, the box explodes. Birds pour out, flood the room, then settle. I prod one; it whirs, re-settles. Not birds at all, but yellow, fist-sized drones. Kathy dashes in. “What’s going on, grandpa?” Her eyes light up. “Hey, Dronedogs!” A latecomer rises from the box and lands on her head. “Dronedogs?” My ten-year-old granddaughter rolls her eyes. “Flying …

May 7, 2022 :: 0 comments

Everywhere

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I clean psych wards. That’s my job.  Once a week, I depill. For four separate wards in the county. I go from room to room and look for pills. They’re everywhere. The patients hide them in plants, behind the toilet, under the toilet cover, in gum stuck under the toilet rim, in every single crevice of their mattress. I’ve shaken …

May 3, 2022 :: 0 comments

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A Blue Foot

by on May 22, 2021 :: 0 comments

Matt went outside to smoke and play with his phone. Quentin started on the dishes. Everybody had ordered the lasagna, so the dishes had to soak in the hot soapy water forever. This loosened up the dried sauce and cheese but the water got so filthy so fast that he had to drain and refill the sink three times in …

A Fish Story

by on June 19, 2021 :: 0 comments

Frances browsing a thrift store, operated by the animal shelter, noticed a wire cage on the floor. She leaned down to have a closer look, “Well, well, what do we have here?” She glanced at the salesclerk. “Is this puppy for sale?” “Yes, he is. Would you like to hold him?” “I would.” The salesgirl came from behind the counter …

A Flock of Jays

by on January 8, 2022 :: 0 comments

“No child is born angry, say the experts, but this is hope not fact,” Dr. Daprahana maintained. “Wrath resides in everyone at birth along with emotions like love and shame. Under the right circumstances, these emotion seeds can root in our consciousness and explode into actions, some deadly, some sublime, and some both at the same time.” Having heard metaphysical …

A Rainy Day

by on February 5, 2022 :: 0 comments

Valeria sat down in her wooden chair and laid a woolen blanket across her lap to warm her legs. She enjoyed watching from the window of her room how the rain fell passively on the garden that she had planted, with hard work, in her yard for years. Her house and garden were among the most precious things she had …

A Shadow on the Wall

by on October 30, 2021 :: 2 comments

She had just clicked off the remote and closed her eyes. “Oh no,” she thought. “The house is settling.” She had lived in her red brick home for nearly nineteen years. She had paid a fortune for termite control, bees entering through the bathroom window, wasps on the back porch, and now there was a new noise. Unrecognizable. Could it …

A Thistle

by on April 19, 2022 :: 0 comments

The first men I fell in love were Robert Kennedy and Jesus Christ. I hope I am not blaspheming if I say that I found a prophet extremely handsome with his auburn hair and Celtic beard. I loved both JFK and his brother, but for me Robert was handsomer. I gazed upon my heroes long hours, until the Virginian (James …

All the Animals Tell Me So

by on January 25, 2022 :: 0 comments

There was a thick smell of fresh manure while I was prowling around a native farm getting information for this article. The thought of the foul air surrendered to the aural of a mooing cow which drew me into the barn. I edged closer to the animal with its head locked between iron bars and its teats connected to a …

As the World Shrinks

by on February 3, 2022 :: 0 comments

When Joe told his friend Jocelyn that he was seeing Dr. Dold, she laughed. Joe was affronted. “Is it that funny to consult a shrink, I mean… therapist?” “No. Sorry.” Then an extended after-giggle. “Sorry.” Joe went anyway. His life was so empty of stress he felt abnormal, and could bear it no longer. “My life is empty,” he told …

At the Fruit Store

by on November 3, 2021 :: 0 comments

Italy is a complicated country, and the virus multiplies the complications exponentially. The stress builds, and thoughts surface to alleviate the tension. I ordinarily lock my bicycle to a signpost before entering the fruit store. But wearing the surgeon’s mask and gloves makes it too difficult to fish the key out of my front pocket to unlock it upon return, …

At the Head Shop

by on March 15, 2022 :: 0 comments

The man behind the counter looked me over as I staggered into the shop. “Full up?” he asked. I nodded stiffly. I was afraid to move too fast. The man, George, lifted one hand. “It’s all right,” he said. “I’m glad you’ve come in. But why did you wait till now?” “I—there was just so much to deal with.” I …

Atlantic Hunting Grounds

by on December 4, 2021 :: 0 comments

Sailing the chill waters of the Atlantic Ocean, the cargo ship MS Harper is the only speck of brightness in the vast moonless night. Floodlights illuminate the shipping containers stacked on top of one another. Some scuffed, some dented, all of them with their rectangular space occupied by a brand-new Korean car. Florescent lights shine through the bridge windows, while …

Awakenings / Brought Round

by on July 24, 2021 :: 0 comments

Yet as this new-sprung prince of undiscovered sterling qualities made to enter the immense cordon thorn lance-a-lot barricade the thicknightet hedge theurgically parted only to close again after his advance opening into redolent wild roses devoid of their prior barbed prongs. And even these sweetbriars bent aside and gave way until the now-present-prince found himself in my perfumed palace gardens …

Black and White TV with the Sound Turned Low

by on July 10, 2021 :: 0 comments

My uncle Charlie only ever saw things in black and white. He had never owned a colour TV. He said the colour TV license was far too dear. I didn’t even know anyone still believed in that shit. Was there such a thing as a black and white TV license in this day and age? “Black and white’s better,” he’d …

Blue Fate

by on October 14, 2021 :: 0 comments

Amanda dreams that she is beautiful, with a body without scars and wrinkles, that she is young and that she is free from her illness and her earthly ties. Although we could say that every living being, every creature has its intrinsic beauty and thus that would be an unfair comment. Moreover, age is a relative matter, because nowadays seventy …

Bow Tie Pasta

by on March 22, 2022 :: 0 comments

The trunk lid was 20 yards away, twisted by the force of the crash into something like a giant piece of bow tie pasta. She lifted the sleeping bag from the trunk. Mine now, she said. Police sirens dopplered. She hid first among plumes of steam, then in the underbrush, until the cops left. Did they not see her or …

Candle Unmaker

by on April 2, 2022 :: 0 comments

Television imagination remains untwisted in summer while our dad says, “Stay with grandmother. It’s going to be hot again, way into the hundreds, and while she’s not quite there yet please just stay home.” As Dad shut the door, fervid outside air rushes into the house where hundreds of colorful candle statues with slick, wet-looking perfume bodies wait for fire …

Cannibal Frog Massacre

by on December 21, 2021 :: 0 comments

Billy knew he had to break it off when they entered the nature center and her face didn’t light up. Although, really, he should’ve known from the damn start. Greta was nothing like the local girls he went with. Her fingernails were painted a rich-girl red. Her clothes were sleek as machetes. Billy stared into a woodsy aquarium. The bigger …

Cruise Ship

by on October 16, 2021 :: 0 comments

You know what? What? I hate to say, but I have given it a lot of thought. The truth is, well, I don’t love you anymore. What?  Now don’t be silly. We’ve been married 15 years. I’m afraid it’s true. Oh, come on. What’s the matter? What is bothering you? Nothing is bothering me. I feel much better opening up …

Deadline

by on April 23, 2022 :: 0 comments

Harry McNabb was in a pickle. He had a poem due the next day for a project he had been roped into a month ago and he had not written anything. Deciding to take a stab at it around 2 PM, Harry tried typing the poem on his laptop. He would write one line and then delete it, write another …

Delete

by on January 18, 2022 :: 0 comments

I didn’t like my Fiat. It had become too old. So, I pressed the delete button on it and it was gone. Later that day I saw an advertisement in a newspaper. A girl who was pissed-off with her boyfriend had asked only a dollar in exchange for her new Toyota that she got as a gift from him. But …

Emil’s Magic

by on January 22, 2022 :: 0 comments

He was standing off to the side of the city Greenway looking at the sky when he felt a tap on his shoulder. “Hey, what are you doing?” Emil turned. It was a policeman on bicycle patrol. “I’m just looking at the clouds, officer,” he said, politely. “That one over there reminds me of a bunny rabbit.” Unimpressed, the cop …

Fear of Snakes

by on March 19, 2022 :: 0 comments

We’d been dating for about a month when Lorrie got a bull snake as a pet and brought it over to my apartment. “Here,” she said, pushing the writhing reptile toward me. “Her name is Julie. Want to hold her?” No. Not on your life. But I liked Lorrie a lot and wanted to make a good impression, so I …

Finding the Corpse

by on February 23, 2022 :: 0 comments

Can’t believe I’m not here anymore! Look, my son is looking up at me. He’s waving to the ceiling! He’s waving to me! He’s thinking, might he cut off a lock of my hair? For future cloning? He’s thinking…What!? Too much hassle! Won’t be around to see me cloned anyway! Son, are you sure bong hits are appropriate now? Gee, …

From the Nowhere Newsroom on the Klu Klux Condom

by on March 5, 2022 :: 0 comments

A strange organization little studied and rarely reported on in the media has members worldwide and is often referred to as Klu Klux Condom. Men covered in leaves and beating drums will set fire on lawns large phallic symbols covered with condoms. The hatred of such a small and soft item that prevents unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases is …

Froyo Nation

by on April 9, 2022 :: 0 comments

It used to be an abandoned storefront, squeezed between a blanched pancake house and a barrel-shaped drive-thru espresso bar. Workers cleaned up the place, painting it white with a new marquee before long-haulers arrived with boxes and palettes. We expected stuff that no one wanted. The malls of America were dying. We awoke to a snow machine, brilliant crystals of …

Get Ready, Jonathan

by on August 14, 2021 :: 0 comments

The call I had been expecting came through. I was laying on my bed thinking about screwdrivers, thinking about how I’d love to unscrew my jaw and let the muscles just hang there like David Foster Wallace. I answered. “Hey, what’s up, Ashton Kutcher,” He said. “What’s up, Mama’s Boy Otis,” I said. “What you doin’?” he said. “Just, you …

Green Witch

by on May 29, 2021 :: 0 comments

Once, not terribly long ago, there lived a green witch. It might be assumed that she dwelled in a ramshackle hut, yet she lived in a tiny house designed by the famous draughtman, Donald Alaska. Donald’s creation had two lofts, a woodburning stove, a deck, and a large kitchen sink. Additionally, his architecture featured a cat door, staircase storage, and …

Hemphill County in the Rearview

by on December 7, 2021 :: 0 comments

My mom had called me earlier that day to let me know that my brother Randy had called her to let her know that he was in jail down in Texas. She also told me that dad was not going to bail him out. It seemed that both him and his friend Red had been charged with possession of marijuana. …

Home Run

by on October 27, 2021 :: 0 comments

The playground at St. Mary’s was a cracked and bumpy blacktop square maybe a hundred feet long on each side and surrounded by a tall anchor fence on two sides, the school on another, and an old garage that completed the square. The garage was a really low, gray, four-car structure. I was never sure who, if anyone, used it. …

How Tea Tastes in Kovalampatti

by on October 20, 2021 :: 0 comments

I have a full blown tryst with my typewriter on a day the sky hangs upside down over Kovalampatti, shabby as the underside of a dress, seams and all exposed. I’d moved into the narrow neighborhood a fortnight ago with a mission, and have been typing by the window, twitching in despair at the mounting pile of half-finished articles. Mr. …

Howlin’ Howie Moves in Next Door

by on December 24, 2021 :: 0 comments

I was just two days into my new place, an upstairs bed with a bathroom down the hall, when I heard what sounded like a pack of wolves. It was ruining my sleep. Wolves? In a two-story walk up dump? It all made better sense after I met the “Backdoor Man.” We were taking out the trash. I introduced myself. …

In the Wilderness

by on November 23, 2021 :: 1 comment

I am the loudest animal on the planet, and the funniest looking, Annelise thought, as she trudged through the snow wearing footgear resembling tennis rackets. Over a long white puffy coat, she carried an ugly black- camera necklace. “How do I look, Mom?” she said out loud, looking to the sky. You look noisy, she heard in response, but she …

It Went Down at the Ace

by on April 16, 2022 :: 0 comments

Joe Willy finished filling up his pickup at the self-serve pump and headed toward the store with a grimy twenty-dollar bill. He stopped short and whistled. “Whoa there, Ray Dan, where’d you get that shiner?” Ray Dan shuffled his feet. “Aw, I was defending my mother’s honor. Your mother’s, too.” “Howzat?” Joe Willy didn’t wait for an answer. “You didn’t …

Keep the Candle Burning

by on March 29, 2022 :: 0 comments

Silence. Matt anguished these situations when natural conversation came to an end and eyes met like magnets drawing the gaze with repellent retreat. His stomach rumbled like thunder, causing his thoughts to inflate. Filling his head with heat he didn’t need. Can she hear me thinking? Matt thought with himself. The paranoia galloping up to his ears. I think she …

Key Lime Pie for Dessert

by on March 26, 2022 :: 0 comments

Honestly, how can normal people fall for scams? I received an email from a woman we’ll call Valerie who wanted to meet me. Why? Because I run the support group New Directions, which attracts loads of people. I was to meet her at a fancy restaurant downtown. She would donate $100 to our support group and pick up the tab. …

Leading

by on March 2, 2022 :: 0 comments

It’s not a question of leading. It’s not a question of allowing the other person to be the lead. It’s just a matter of walking. And eventually the right things start to fall into place. I don’t really know how I’m doing what I’m doing. Or I can at least pretend that I don’t know how I’m doing what I’m …

Lessons Learned

by on March 9, 2022 :: 0 comments

Those closest will leave Be quick to take offense Smiles are transitory Friends even more so Hold back screams The heart always races at times like this An exploding heart doesn’t kill Dreams of safety do not materialize There are no answers You can’t disappear Over-sensitivity and hyper-vigilance must be permanent Punching a mattress is the best stress reliever Avoiding …

Listless

by on November 8, 2021 :: 0 comments

Beatnicks. Road kill. Submissives. A thinning ozone with polar slush on the side. Rape/abduction fantasies; the penitentiary; amphetamines and variety shows. The world bulldozes by, totally oblivious that I’m trying to sleep. Thoughts are as heartless as facts or feelings. You wake up; dreams are kicked into yesterday; you wake up and you think you’ve slept in; it’s 6:25 AM. …

Living the Dream

by on August 28, 2021 :: 0 comments

I once worked as the night shift charge nurse for Oak Street Care Center. The hospital where I worked prior to that went bankrupt. So I took the job at the Care Center, a skilled nursing home in my own town. I had been nursing for 13 years by then. In that time I had seen a lot of changes …

Missing the E on my keyboard

by on February 26, 2022 :: 0 comments

Fuck, shit, damn and all that crap! I’ll fail without it. I just know it! Faith is fallacious. My ambitions find ostracism. My skull complains for lack of joy. Satisfaction is without a doubt MIA. Damn company cursing such an affliction upon this sorry, sad soul! That much cash to fix a slab of carbon? Silly, isn’t it? Nay- ridiculous! …

Moon Passed Cutting

by on July 17, 2021 :: 0 comments

One The moon laid a strip of light on the dark ocean. The reflection was soft except for the crests of the waves catching the light sharp and white. The ocean seemed so quiet. “Nothing.” John outlined roughly the shape of the moon. “You don’t think it’s a little windy out here?” He held up his right hand to gesture …

Nails

by on January 29, 2022 :: 0 comments

Mom had a way with nails. One bitter Michigan winter, she pounded beef steaks to the back of the house. I didn’t see this with my own eyes. Heard it from my brother-in-law Leroy who explained that the frig hadn’t been working for the last two years. It’s possible that I was more embarrassed than he. A few years later, …

Night of 1000 Parties

by on November 20, 2021 :: 0 comments

The border between Paterson and Clifton is a double white line that runs down the middle of Crooks Ave. There was a party on Crooks Ave. one Saturday night. It was not as much fun as Ramon had anticipated. As it wound down, Ramon and a Clifton girl wandered into the cemetery on the Paterson side of the street and …

Old Spice

by on February 12, 2022 :: 0 comments

He records the weight and breadth of her censorious words every night in his notebook. He keeps a chart of his tears, another of her screams, and a few tick boxes for the scarcity of halcyon days. His face has become a topography of his ill-hidden fears of displeasing a woman who had hijacked the best of his years. He …

Omen

by on September 4, 2021 :: 0 comments

Bizarre! The dream woke him up with a start. Such a dream will wake up any guy! A shudder passed through him. Dead of night—the howl of a stray dog added to the uneasiness. Was it a premonition? The Grim Reaper stared malevolently; neon sign lit up the urgent message on the billboard, at the interstate highway, his car waiting …

On Aeaea Again

by on January 15, 2022 :: 0 comments

We breakfast together on grapes and figs while lying on wild grass, take a walk around our island, fill our eyes with sea, fill our ears with bird song. I drive her to the Loose Wolf where she lunches with the women who tend to the island gardens. I sit six feet away and watch her out of the corner …

On the Droll

by on April 12, 2022 :: 0 comments

Some people experiencing homelessness are people experiencing a good gig. They could choose to experience employment, but some, like my one-time next-door neighbour Brady, feel that being on the dole works fine, and a tent in a park is pretty good shelter in a mild climate. Better than paying rent. Some tenters augment their assistance cheque by drug-dealing or shoplifting, …

People Watching

by on October 2, 2021 :: 0 comments

People watching. I do it all the time, as it is a great way for me to escape the madness of the city without actually going anywhere. Most of the time the people I see or the stories I watch unfold would leave my memory within a few weeks. Hardly ever did these stories leave a lasting mark on my …

Re-entry

by on October 23, 2021 :: 0 comments

Susan Metcalf had retired 15 years ago from a job in the insurance business. She had never married and had invited her 92-year-old mother to come into her house to live. They were going to one of many doctor appointments on a dreary Monday morning in mid-January, Susan knew the routine too well. Finding a parking place close to the …

Read the Signs

by on February 19, 2022 :: 1 comment

Story of my life! I’m in my head instead of wherever my feet are planted and it’s all about me. That’s what happened last week and I’m still afraid to go back to the gym. Should I find another? Pretend nothing happened? Ask that authorities get involved? Why can’t I decide? Here’s what I did or didn’t do. It was …

Sarah’s Laughter

by on December 18, 2021 :: 0 comments

When you looked me in the eye, and, without blinking, told me it was over, I, as a friend, stopped being concerned. Even though, as a man, I worried about finagling the whole thing all these years. But, as a priest, I am alert to lies. A major part of my job description is devoted to discerning the permutations of …

Shucks Among Aging Partners

by on September 18, 2021 :: 0 comments

“Shucks! You shouldn’t have.” “I didn’t. I have no idea who sent ‘em.” “Jeepers! You really don’t care anymore.” “Of course, I do. I keep putting down the toilet lid.” “Gee, Willikers! That’s only been forty years in coming.” “Well, you still fart in your sleep.” “Son of a biscuit, how would you know?” “Haven’t been sleeping too well.” “Sweet …

Sodium

by on July 3, 2021 :: 0 comments

“Hi, Wendell.” I turned my head, tracking the voice past the light blue wall with a seascape print on to the doorway. It was Jared, my dietician. “How are we doing today?” Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a jerk, but I’d been cooped up in the hospital living on their boring food for eleven days and I was sick …

Taking Revenge

by on December 28, 2021 :: 0 comments

Dressed in a black suit and tie, Peter sat at the head of the table. “I’m glad you could make it to dinner.” He picked up a wine glass and gazed to his right. Except for a place setting, no one was there. “A salute to my beautiful wife, Paula.” In a high-pitched voice, ‘Why are we here?’ He cocked …

The Aesthetics of Penury

by on August 21, 2021 :: 0 comments

She lived among sordid squalor, yet she only beheld what enthralled, such as a stray sunray that fleetingly slipped into her darksome room or a moth happily fluttering round half a candle that her little brother was given at church. The key to her tidiness was a bar of soap that she earned from her overtime chores. Having scrubbed myriads …

THE ALPHA-MALE AGENDA

by on April 5, 2022 :: 0 comments

—Have you seen this before? she said pointing to the white porcelain mug on her desk—no! She wasn’t pointing at the mug, she was referring to the chirographic design enameled around the body, which read: “Woke Mom.” —I have been a mom for fifteen years now, and guess what? It’s not any different from what you are having with Belinda …

The Chinese Restaurant in Moosonee, Ontario

by on November 11, 2021 :: 0 comments

Along the wide, empty street out of town, away from the railroad station, the red storefront gleams. It’s a welcome sight among the plate glass and faded displays of canned beans, motor oil, tools, or decades old sewing patterns, depending on the store. It is also a welcome sight beneath the infinite sky, beside the bay that is just the …

The Coffeehouse Romantic

by on February 15, 2022 :: 0 comments

The sound of jazz plays in the coffeehouse as I turn the pages of a Philip Roth novel. I look up from the book, hear a young woman’s voice, and feel my heart beat faster. I can’t stop  imagining how it would be to fall in love with her. “Have a good day,” says the barista to a man holding …

The Crying Game

by on November 26, 2021 :: 0 comments

I searched for something the least voguish. The location was an embassy though the occasion was only a job interview. London was in verdure with its tree-fringed roads. Sunrays multiplied in my eyes that beamed with joy – my first job interview since I graduated only three months ago. The interviewees hardly noticed my entrance into a very spacious room, …

The Diamond Sky

by on July 31, 2021 :: 0 comments

I saw her again today, following me. As I turned right on the corner, from a left-side glance, I saw the shiny blue of her shirt. First, she waited a few beats, hoping I wouldn’t notice, then continued slyly walking. Why is she following me? What does she want? She’s been following me for years now. I didn’t feel threatened …

The Get Together

by on October 7, 2021 :: 0 comments

“Mom are you ready?” I asked. “Yes dear, let’s go.” My mom and I are very excited. Today we are going to meet with our father after a long time. I can’t really explain how happy and excited I am. After a lot of struggle and patience we are getting to meet him. I was thinking what questions I will …

The Greatest Conquest

by on November 16, 2021 :: 0 comments

For years Milton stood there on my shelf with the sword of St. Michael stuck between ivory pages that are dripping with demonic blood. Yesterday, I picked up the black book of Good and Evil and was resolute to read it thoroughly to better understand the military strategies described in there. I bet Milton displayed great wit. Besides, I always …

The Kiss

by on November 13, 2021 :: 0 comments

The courtly cavalier stood transfixed in a dead silence that echoed the somber stillness of my castle’s cataleptic enchantment.  How could he be the arrant inherent inerrant declarant heir apparent he him hymn nara to my nari narayana duende dawning on she her hurrah it’s my prince charming knight in shining armor amor moribund minus white steed come doyen to …

The Life and Death of Dave Adamson

by on June 12, 2021 :: 0 comments

A scream runs through the street. A young couple sees what they’ll talk about until they’re old: a time, together, when they saw a body on a sidewalk. The couple hold one another and their breaths until police and emergency services arrive. No one offers a “Poor bastard” as those living gather to see where life goes. There’s something about …

The Line

by on April 30, 2022 :: 0 comments

It was the summer of 1977. I was on strike. I worked at a soybean processing plant and though I didn’t know it then, it was on the verge of being sold because the owners had made a deal with the buyers that would benefit them both greatly. I had just been divorced and had no savings. I was staying …

The Magician

by on December 13, 2021 :: 2 comments

For years he sought to perform the ultimate illusion. An astounding feat that would captivate audiences. A magic trick like no other which would make them truly appreciate him and win their long overdue praise. The recognition he deserved. Just one fantastic stunt was all he needed. It had eluded him so far, but eventually it would come to him. …

The Man with a Cane

by on June 5, 2021 :: 3 comments

I’ve been shopping at divergent Italian fruit stores in the Milan suburbs: one has sweet Calabrese navel oranges for a euro a kilo, another has Colombian bananas for the same price. We rarely pay any more than a euro a kilo for all fruit and vegetables. Sicilian red oranges are currently 79 cents a kilo, but I sometimes find them …

The Mayonnaise Jar

by on January 1, 2022 :: 0 comments

Carmel reached into the mayonnaise jar, hoping to extract a tempting notion. Libi had promised her two friends that by reaching into that vessel, they’d become the immediate owners of germs for fantastic fiction. She had told them that she had stuffed that crock full of slips of paper imprinted with story kernels. All that they had to do for …

The Pissing Contest

by on September 25, 2021 :: 0 comments

The late morning sky was clear-eyed blue, rich, almost regal. There was no breeze, a soft November, the trees naked of leaves, the sun too bright. “Summer,” one of them muttered. None of them could remember a November this warm. They walked in a small cluster down the center of the street as was their practice: five boys, not a …

The Problem with Marvin

by on April 26, 2022 :: 0 comments

Marvin called time and temperature many times during the week. He felt he needed to hear another human voice and too often he felt the recording was a real person talking only to him. Then one beautiful Thursday morning, he dialed the number and the voice said, “Marvin, get outside. It’s a beautiful day. Just beautiful. Go to the park, …

The Schoolmarm and the Referee 

by on March 12, 2022 :: 0 comments

DO NOT DISTURB hung from the outside doorknob. She was a schoolmarm who couldn’t resist a good-looking referee, tall and built. The morning after the game. Seedy motel room. The smell of stale cigarettes clinging to the walls. His striped black and white jersey and trousers lay crumpled up on the floor next to the bed. “Get up!” She slid …

The Table Captain

by on January 11, 2022 :: 0 comments

1 Back in the 1950s, when Brooklyn Tech was an all-boys high school, I volunteered for the post of lunchroom table captain. Little did I know that this post would ultimately change my life. We sat in rows of five or six tables in a huge room. About thirty of us sat in each row. We would pass along our …

THE THING.

by on November 30, 2021 :: 0 comments

For dad, and his wild heart. Once when we were children, our father kidnapped us from our mother to take us across the desert. His wood-paneled station wagon roared through El Paso, New Mexico, and Arizona. I played with my prize toy, an E.T. plush, in the back of that car under a white sheet. In school I had been …

V/r

by on June 26, 2021 :: 0 comments

Dude, like around 8? No, maybe like 9, in the morning, I ate three blotters. I’ve done Lucy a bunch of times, but I forreal hadn’t done ‘em like that early or whatever. My friends and I found a connection on ‘em a few weeks earlier, so we’d been taking a few hits every weekend or whatever. But that day, …

Wally Funk 11 Rides Again

by on January 4, 2022 :: 0 comments

I got a radio call early one morning to relieve another deputy at the site of a small plane crash in an area called Bermuda Dunes. The night shift deputy was finishing his report when I arrived on the scene. All I had to do was wait for an investigator from the National Transportation Safety Bureau to arrive from Los …

Where Harry’s Buried

by on September 12, 2021 :: 1 comment

As the two women approached the cemetery, June said, “Hey, this sign here says No Trespassing, No Digging, No Rubbers. It looks like, around here, rubbers are banned from cemeteries.” “I know lots of guys who’ve left rubbers in cemeteries. Don’t worry about it.” Janette said. Looking at her, June said, “I’m pretty sure that’s not what the sign means.” Unfazed, …

While The Poor People Sleep (With the Shade on the Light)

by on August 7, 2021 :: 0 comments

Hi, my name’s Arch and I live inside. I’m inside him, Eddie. I come out at night while he’s sleeping. Out of Eddie’s anus I crawl. Like a nocturnal form of tapeworm, only I go exploring at night. But I’m no worm. I’m small, that’s for sure. Small enough to live inside him and crawl out of his asshole every night. …

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