Bradford Middleton

The sun up in the sky is a beauty
Of heat and light and occasionally
I’ll turn the corner at the bottom
Of my road and see it brighten up
Even the cruelest of days when it
Shines hard down on the beach and
I suddenly realise, hell, this is just
So damn right.

The scene always takes my breath
Away when it hits that perfect mix
Of a beautiful near-empty beach
And that sun shining hard making
Everything seem as if i don’t live
In a town of no hope or any beauty
And on those ever so rare days i
Kid myself that I’ll stay here forevermore.

Just kill me now if that’s the case
Or remind me wherever it is i land
Next time around it’s got to be by
The sea as i’m sure such beauty can
Exist off any beach-front and with
A bit of luck one so very very far
Away from here so I can always
Make my life by the sea, hell
In face I’m sure any sea will do.

In times of political and planetary turmoil, it is always easy
To write poems about the likes of mad old Donald or his
Surrogate mini-me, all blonde hair and a bombshell just
Waiting to detonate a lot of Latin nonsense, but sometimes
It’s just enough to let go. Letting my mind drift to all the
Other kinds of arses; there are a couple of nubile, young sexy
Arses that I see walking away from my counter at work and
I’m mesmerised by their swagger and on occasion when I want to
Switch off I tend to think of those gorgeous shapely arses
Rather than the kind of arseholes that are apparently in charge.

The phone-in on my radio this morning
Leaves me feeling nothing but cold
Angry
Frustrated, and
Certain that this country will get hit by
Another bout of virus-related deaths
As
Idiots call in speaking of their need
To visit internet cafes
And tennis courts because, they claim,
‘I know i’m addicted.’

When hundreds, sometimes 1000s,
Die
Every single day, are people so
Deluded by their own self-importance
To think, or probably
Not,
That their life can go on as normal
Just because of some
Stupid
Idiotic
Need to be seen, to carry on just
Being british
(soon to be defined in any good
Dictionary as someone thick-
Skinned, thick of mind, and certain
Of their own deluded superiority
Before they died out during an
Early twenty-first-century world
Pandemic)

Remembering to always just
Keep calm and carry on
Living whilst clapping the
Key workers every Thursday
Night and disregarding the
Advice to stay home
Save lives and help the wonderful
NHS.

The daze at work come and go with an infrequent regularity
Sometimes three,
Sometimes four,
Sometimes five times a week
But recently I’ve had to get used to a new phenomenon
People coming in, people I don’t generally recognise
Asking me about this, my poetry
When am I reading again some ask
I wanted to see a poet at work some say
But the thing I often think is who was that
And have they bought my goddamn book
I know it’ll never save me from this exhausted routine
Of working, drinking, writing, smoking and sleeping
But if they’ve ever read my words they should
Know that I hate that work, that detestable shop and
Most of the people I work with and serve so
Why come and see me down there?
I can only conclude that they want to see me at my lowest
Possible moment and are afraid of stepping into the ring
Of the bar to see me drinking when, no doubt, I would
Try to sell them a book in exchange for a beer doing
Both of us a favour but no they come here instead
To a place where nothing ever changes. The
Homeless masses occasionally return to the icy
Streets from their hostel begging change to support
Their habits and I still get ridiculed about my name;
Today it was our new security guard, Steve, who turned to me
And called me ‘City,’ as in the football team from the town
With which I share a name, but at least this time
It made me laugh as I remembered times at school
When fellow kids would taunt me, calling me ‘Bingley’
After a well-known old-fashioned building society
Until that, I contemplated battering them.
Right now though I just want to escape all this
Nonsense of poetry fans and random taunts
Escaping to somewhere no one knows me where I
Can drink, smoke, work, write and sleep at last in peace.

I walked out into my future
this morning and it was like
A dream as I stomped around
this empty little hole and saw
Almost no one at all. I walked
the streets until they ran out and
Not once did I get shouted at or
Begged from as around here
Everyone is poor but as I stood
by our community lake it felt a
Million miles away from my usual
Life on those damn streets back
there in that place that has never
Really felt like home.

On those blessed
Blissed out days of sun walking
The promenade next to the beach
Always reminds me i just got to
Stay here. Not necessarily right
Here but by that rich enchanted
Mass of glistening beauty
Which when the sun shines
Means my eyes can see off
All the way to the distant horizon
Fuelling dreams of what may
Lay beyond…

I was stoned before it even began this particular Friday night,
Another lost to reading the word and thinking about the state
Of this life. Smoking all the way throughout this blessed day
Away from the place of work I got waylaid and upon hitting
The street, sparked another but instantly felt bored. The scene
Is how it so often is these days, virtually no one out despite
The hour now being nearly 9, but my thirst drives me on
Down the street to that tavern where I’ll spend some more of
My hard-earned cash.

As soon as I arrive I know it’s going to be nothing but a loser
Of a night; a gang of cool 20-somethings loiter outside, wearing
Shades, cool clothes, sipping their drinks. I wander on past
And get to the corner, turn and head straight for the back door.
There I find blessed relief as I push the door open and barely
No one is here. I sit at the bar and call someone over; I order
A beer and large bourbon and sit back, happy to be out and not
In the prying eye. The rest of the night passes with me just
Asking,

Same again
Same again
Same again…

I turn on the night as I
Turn out the light as the
Glow of my laptop is all
I need to fill this place with
Light. It shines a light to
Illuminate my ashtray and
The ubiquitous glass from
Which I pour these words
On this, a Friday night
Deep in the heart of the
Most dreaded sequel our
Time has known; Lockdown 2
Is here and the powers that
Be want everyone locked
Away safe in the confines
Of their mortgaged homes.

I sit here, obedient at last,
As I turn the clock back to
Those wasted years of me,
Sat with my wireless on, the
Glass pouring its inspiration
All over this page and the
Smoke that just keeps giving
And giving, pouring itself
Over my wasted mind that
Now can’t wait for half-time.

All I can think of recently is
Wonder; wondering on the idea of a lay
Something that ain’t happened in a fairly long time, or
The idea of a move, maybe
Out of this town and onto a new adventure
As this place runs dry of fun, of continued inspiration.

Now whenever I venture out on the streets nothing
Surprises me anymore, so blasé have I become
About all the weird sights tourists actually come
Here to gawp at. They come, sit, eating or drinking
Pointing at all the wonderful, yet now dull to me,
Colourful characters that promenade around
This town.

The idea of a woman reached a peak just last week
As I ran home, drunk as hell, from the pub leaving
Friends drinking, as, salivating, my horniness grew too
Much! I needed a release and it soon came on down,
If you’ll pardon the pun,
With the thought of a red-head beauty running through
My mind; it’s the closest I’ve been in months.

Sitting here now I feel oddly bored but happier
Than I’ve felt in a long old time but this boredom of
Routine has suggested it’s maybe time to move on,
Find a less expensive town where I may have
The time to write, drink, smoke, and, who knows,
Maybe get that lay and work maybe just a couple of
Days a week giving me the much-needed chance
To just waste some goddamn time.

This morning i’ll go into town, have a walk
Around. I’ll visit my sanctuary, the library so
Full of computers, and then if the sun continues
To shine maybe i’ll go smoke one down on the
Beach for today feels like one of those days.

A day to lose myself in these here words and this
Here glorious day off. I may even visit the bar
Down the road at some point this afternoon but
I won’t let it get to me and hopefully i’ll stay cool
Drink a few and then maybe come home.

If that is the case tonight might well be lost in
The depths of film; a lot to catch-up on and some
Bound to bring a little bit of joy. This life needs
A fair bit of that right now as the daily slog is
Growing harder every single day.